hall monitor
rounding up some stragglers… like the stop sign patches.
kept it simple, but had some challenges with design transfer. given the circumstances, using stencils worked really well.
picked up some red velveteen fabric from “the depot” (aka “garbage arts”) and added fusible stabilizer for structure.
transferring the design to the velveteen pile was a no-go (tried it… was a mess). instead, traced the reversed design onto the stabilizer. stitched outlines in stem stitch from the wrong side, which gave me outlines in back stitch from the right side – bingo.
4-way stop pooty-hoop
revisiting process photos reminded me that i watched all of ‘BoJack Horseman’ while working on these earlier this year – woof…
i also spy my hand fan, which i lost somewhere along my walk to work last Saturday. bummed. it was one of my most favorite shapes.
the webby bits leading back to anchor knots look neat. those knots are temporary though and get cut away in the end.
one, two, three, and four. farthest right is the prototype. lives on my jacket now – left shoulder.
so happy with the velveteen. it does shed, though.
lint rolling the edges before adding the border cut down on fluff everywhere, gunking up the stitches. ended up with a little sticker monster at the end, too.
edges all finished. backside view, before getting tagged.
hand-sewn polyester ribbon tags. fussy, sure – but i enjoy it.
thread glyphs on the backside – an unexpected delight.
“hall monitor” lookin’ ass…
nice, nice, nice
finished these in May. sorta feel like i’ve neglected processing them – didn’t mean to.
feel that way about a few things in the queue and i’m doing my best to maintain, and sometimes regain, momentum.
i don’t have a segue, but this and this are mixes that came together last week. leaving some evidence of them somewhere instead of waiting for… i don’t know! so, there they are!
ok, bye bye!
STOP
stop sign sketch – Crayola Super Tips on trace paper.
experiencing some blockage and working to dislodge it – it’s slow work, requires a fair amount of focus. keeping company with Ever Given… couldn’t help myself ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑
i’ve been feeling a way about something that happened in the beginning of February. while working offline, i got wrapped up in thoughts about what other people – complete strangers – might think of this space, should they come across it. i worried what they might think of what i’m doing here, what i’m making, how i’m writing. i worried about being judged. i worried people would think my work was derivative, stupid, a waste of time. i got caught up worrying what other people might think and considered editing the content of earlier posts in hopes of preventing negative opinions of me.
holy sh-t…
STOP.
STOP!
first off, editing the content of old posts is completely antithetical to my conception of this space and especially harmful when influenced by the desire to satisfy others’ perceptions of who i am or should be. changing my mind is ok, that’s progress. changing myself to fit someone’s perception of me is unhealthy, regressive, and untrue to what i’m trying to establish in my practice. it’s disingenuous and inauthentic behavior which doesn’t serve me. i have, in the past, felt it necessary to hide parts of myself – code switching and contorting to satisfy social or cultural expectations. that’s not where it’s at for me. not anymore. so who the hell is making me feel like i need to keep up the contortion? ain’t nobody else here but me! this is personal…
i recognized the pattern as the thoughts were pouring in, back in February. i stopped what i was doing to draw a sloppy stoppy in my journal, and reminded myself of some key revelatory material: changing my mind is ok – good, even. recording a catalogue of process with the emotions that accompany brings visibility to how ideas about work and creativity are influenced and change over time. i want this space to reinforce flexibility and exploration in process, which may mean trying an atypical approach and “feeling a way” about previous iterations. going back through old posts and tinkering with time is NOT a helpful way to document process. heck – re-examining and continuing to reflect on processes, experiences, and context is a big part of this thing!
i won’t deny it – i was disappointed in myself for even hosting those thoughts; but i’m glad i caught it and hadn’t acted on the impulse to change myself in order to satisfy a self-projected standard of acceptance on what is “right” or “good”. i woulda been pretty sour had i taken it that far... these thoughts spun around a specific post, one that is more personal than i’d expected to explore in this space, and i felt discomfort around externalizing emotional vulnerability. although spare for personal details; it has still been difficult for me to process.
there has been a glint of silver lining from this in my work – i’ve been experimenting with stop sign designs and making GIFs. i wanted to abstract it and stretch it out like i had with several other warning signs, which inspired the first GIF. in order to achieve smoother animation i made more frequent in-between frames, which revealed compositions of stretched letters i don’t think i would have seen otherwise. cool beans. the next GIFs were created from fooling around with CMYK halftones in Photoshop. i’ve used halftone in projects before – it’s fun and pretty simple, and i like it… the second GIF uses varied dot sizes and angles for a spinny-zoomy hi-lo resolution effect. the third was goofing around to create a lo-res halftone version of the original GIF. no big deal, simple. and i like it… another step in this exploratory process will be to make some patches. i recently picked up red velveteen fabric to use as a base – it’s fabulous… the velveteen has a nice texture and matte finish, and is much more vibrant than the red cotton fabric i’d picked up prior. not quite sure how i’m going to approach all the steps of this project – i’m unfamiliar with using velvet/velveteen. i’m hopeful fora fun experiment!
not every creative effort needs an analyzed explanation of how it came to be, but in this case it felt important. the stop sign was introduced because i needed it; and, like the recursive loops before were a way for me to imagine processing through design, the stop sign was a visual cue to pump the brakes before careening into unhealthy territory. i felt embarrassed about the misdirection of energy, and yet work came from it. i haven’t felt like i could reflect on it without feeling shame that i’d even considered tinkering in the first place, which allowed this work to stay hidden and more guilt to build around not staying true to the spirit of this space: reflecting on work as it happens. i thought i was past this, but i’m still working through it.
in the months since, i’ve recognized the hard work in gaining, and maintaining, confidence in my authenticity. i also recognize the work in resisting outside influences that i should do or be something i’m not. and should those negative influences call from inside the house – come from me projecting on behalf of some fictional entity – i’ve got to stop. that. sh-t.
i’m still learning. i’m still growing and becoming more comfortable being myself. i’m more confident in what i desire to do and who i desire to be. i’m excited to keep moving in each of the directions i’m going, even if i don’t know exactly where i’m headed or how i’ll get there.
needed to stop for a little bit back there, but i’mma keep it going.