parlor tricks 2/24/21 parlor tricks 2/24/21

pick up

*from left to right: first pick from around 22 years ago, Fender tortoiseshell pick from ???, second Fender tortoiseshell street find, unknown tortoiseshell pick from today*

i keep finding picks on the ground. i’ve found a couple over the last few weeks. one is similar to a Fender tortoiseshell pick i already had (second from the left) and, come to think of it, i don’t know how i got that one either. i can’t remember buying any guitar picks other than the purple Dunlop one purchased with my very first electric guitar 22 years ago — it’s a thick one, unbreakable almost — and a thumb pick that i just can’t get the hang of… a friend gave me a yellow New Orlean’s Jazz Fest pick in middle school. wish i’d kept a better eye on it, don’t know where it got off to.

i don’t even use picks when i play but i can’t help but pick them up when i see them on the ground. i don’t yet have the confidence to play with that much articulated amplification, i’m still very much in the learning and noodling phase. besides, i like the soft tone of strumming with my fingers.

i found another pick today on my way to see a friend for lunch. it’s the last one on the right — nameless, but with the same tortoiseshell pattern as the Fenders. again, couldn’t just walk away from it. it’s a little thinner and lighter than the others, so maybe it will be the Goldilocks “perfect pick” when i finally reach for one. not there yet, but this growing collection leads me to believe i’ll be ready when i do.

parlor tricks 2/23/21 parlor tricks 2/23/21

common assets

needed to scan some construction paper to use as a digital background and thought about all the times i’ve scanned materials for textures and saved the files into specific project folders — a one way ticket to a digital black hole.

hadn’t considered making a digital catch all until the other day. now i have a “common assets” folder for all the ticky-tacky pieces that get used in all sorts of different ways. so far i’ve only scanned construction paper… but it’s gonna grow!

typing that name, common assets, i couldn’t help but think of it in the context of marriage. common assets: the car, the apartment, the record collection, the cat… as icky as it makes me feel to consider describing things in order to litigate over them; i do like the sound of it: common assets. i like the way the two words look side-by side — the humps of the m’s and n in the first leading into the squiggles of s’s in the second. i think it would make a good name for a restaurant or bar. just saw that there’s a company called uncommon goods… bwah

then, i thought to myself: “where does your digital miscellanea live?” a place for videos and articles and music that i encounter and find helpful or resonate in some way, or that provide motivation or perspective. the last several days have yielded inclusions into the digital library of common assets:

on Saturday i joined a virtual discussion about the work of quilter Rosie Lee Tompkins presented by the Berkeley Art Museum and Pacific Film Archive (BAMPFA). Dr. Carolyn Mazloomi and Ms. Ora Clay spoke about quilting and the work of Ms. Rosie Lee Tompkins. i hadn’t familiarized myself with either speaker before attending, which has its benefits and drawbacks. i didn’t want to form any preconceived notions of what they would speak about or who they were from static representations. and for that, i’m ok with my decision to “under-prepare”. Dr. Carolyn Mazloomi was a force. there were a few things that she said during the discussion that pierced deeply and i am grateful to have been witness to her presentation. one point she emphasized was the importance of the creator’s voice in their work. Rosie Lee Tompkins left no interpretation or writings about her own work which is a loss for the diasporic quilting community. hearing Dr. Mazloomi speak to the notion of being the voice for your own work motivated me to continue doing what i’m doing.

on Sunday i watched a video suggested by the Youtubes featuring cinematographer Brad Rushing speaking about doing the work, success, and the power of listening. i wasn’t familiar with Mr. Rushing before, but looked him up after starting the video and learned that he was the cinematographer for Britney Spears’ ‘Toxic’ music video. wait, what?! another instance of uncanny timing having just watched ‘Framing Britney Spears’. sure, there’s no doubt something algorithmically driving this content to me — that’s life now. but what Mr. Rushing has to say about creativity still rings true.

*‘MAGDALENE’ - FKA twigs (2019) creative direction Matthew Josephs, design by Matthew Stone*

i also listened to FKA twigs’ ‘MAGDALENE’ for the first time. not unlike LA Priest’s ‘GENE’, i’d been saving this album for the “perfect time” to listen. years have gone by and i was too ashamed and nervous to listen to it. twigs’ music hits a sensitive spot, and i didn’t think i was ready to go there. but i did, and i love it. holy sh-t, like really love it. which isn’t a surprise, i enjoy her work very much. i don’t know why i do this to myself…

yesterday morning i browsed for a podcast to listen to while taking a shower, and saw the latest episode of This American Life entitled ‘Secrets’. it’s a doozy, and another uncanny arrival.

i thought, “what do we do with our common assets that are not commonly known?” everyone has secrets. what do you do when you have shared secrets? or if you are the secret?

the episode discusses embarrassment, shame, and the feeling that you should be able to handle your secrets on your own. yeah, this one was important to listen to right now. one of the statements that went straight to the marrow was this one:

“telling my story has opened up a lot for me, especially with the people i’m closest to. but telling is a beginning, not an end. it’s not a solution… it doesn’t release you from shame. to release yourself from shame, you need to understand where the shame comes from. telling alone doesn’t get you there, but it puts you in conversation with people who can help.” - Susan Burton

and this:

“i never lied, i neglected to tell the truth. that’s how secrets are made.” - Pavan Bivigou

Susan is speaking to the secrecy around eating disorders, and Pavan about keeping her sickle-cell anemia a secret. even though these are two things that i don’t have experience with, i do know what it’s like to keep a secret… and these stories were incredibly helpful to add perspective to that understanding.

last night i watched this discussion between Daniel Kaluuya and Timothée Chalamet. it’s old, i know; but i like Daniel Kaluuya’s work, and Timothée Chalamet’s even though i feel a growing gulf of disconnection from his generation. i’ve watched a few others in this series, and they can feel stuffy and forced. but this one felt so fun and energetic. it felt like both of these artists were genuinely interested and excited to be in conversation and learn from one another’s experiences.

i really appreciated what Daniel had to say about reading scripts and why he reads them: in part to better understand why he likes something so that he’s better informed as to why he says “yes” or “no” to projects. using it as a tool to know himself better.

gem dropping… so good…

that’s it for now. i am hoping that this space can be a useful library for videos and music and books and all the stuff that flies through while i’m working. i have some patches to sew a merrow border onto, so…

ok, bye bye!

parlor tricks 2/19/21 parlor tricks 2/19/21

speedsuit

i’ve been in “heads down” mode for a little bit. listening to a lot of music — stuff that’s for listening to and not just having on in the background. it’s not easy to have on while writing without getting distracted so i’ve been working on embroidery while listening. it’s allowed me to focus on the repetition of stitches and get into a meditative zone. good for where my head is at right now.

the music is a whole other digest…. i’ll keep it simple for now and stick to embroidery.

so i have this “flight suit”. it isn’t really a flight suit, just looks like one. sort of. the actual factual name is a “speedsuit”, which i’ve come to possess since it’s what me and my fellow architecture graduate cohort wore for our graduation ceremony instead of traditional cap and gown and hood and yada, yada, yada. following a sartorial tradition started who knows when for who knows what reason, one of my classmates got everyone’s orders together and i went with it. it was one less thing to think about while being tossed around in the whitewater of the final semester of architecture school.

i’ve kept mine after all these years because it’s well made and functional. what’s kept me from wearing it is my school and degree program embroidered above the left breast pocket. i’m proud of my degree, but i don’t want to advertise it. it’s not as though the school is paying me to be a billboard. quite the opposite…

coveralls are a suitable outfit for work these days, so many useful pockets. i’m moving away from carrying bags with lots of sh-t in them, not a fan of how they cut into my shoulders. i always feel like i’m stinkier in the pitty area when i wear a backpack or a purse too. probably because the straps get mushed up in there. i’ve lost some good shirts that way... anyway, wanted to revive my pair since i held onto them and they are otherwise occupying very limited closet space.

covering up the old embroidery had an easy solution: make a patch. so i got to embroidering one of the warning signs as a cover-up. i could have ripped the unwanted stitches out, but i think it would have torn up the fabric in the process. easier to sew a patch over top, and this way i could try out other methods of representation.

*graduation “flight suit” from 2014. mocked up a few sizes of patch to cover the graduate program embroidered over the left breast pocket. (the footies all balled up at the bottom look creepy…)*

started out with a few different sizes of patch templates and taped them over the stitching to be covered. the one i ended up going with was a ‘tweener size between a smaller and bigger version. it’s about 5 1/2” without the border.

the base is a linen blend fabric that i have several yards of. i really like the color — it’s a warm mustard yellow. looking back at the process photos i realize i could have done more than one patch in this hoop instead of one, but i did save the scraps to use for sashiko practice. i’ve started another hoop since this one (more on that later, i presume) and have made an effort to maximize hoop economy and efficiency to prevent wasting fabric and materials.

used a light table to trace the pattern directly onto the fabric this time, foregoing stabilizer/interfacing for the design transfer. this linen has a pretty open weave and i could easily see the stitches through the fabric onto the backside. not ideal and could have been prevented with interfacing, but since it was going against a dark material i didn’t stress it too much. i also used a different kind of pen for marking the design: a Pilot FriXon pen, which is heat erasable. tested the pen on a corner of the fabric and used hot water to erase the markings away and voilà! worked like a charm.

stitched all the outlines, borders, and satin stitch fill with two strands of DMC stranded cotton and clover embroidery needle. not sure which size. not the biggest and not the smallest needle in the pack.

just measured the needle with the set of calipers Sam got me, i think it’s a #5 needle (here’s a chart to reference next time). i’m assuming that needles are measured at their shaft length without the eye/shank, making this a #5? — *just measured the needle with the set of calipers Sam got me, i think it’s a #5 needle (here’s a* *chart* *to reference next time). i’m assuming that needles are measured at their shaft length without the eye/shank, making this a #5?*

2/4/2021 - just getting started. used backstitch for the linework. i’d started out trying stem stitch and didn’t like the raised effect. should have taken a photo but didn’t before picking the stitches out and doing it over again.

*2/4/2021 - started the satin stitches moving from right to left starting at the arrowhead.*

*2/4/2021 - the satin stitches at the bottom of the loops were tricky to keep consistently tensioned and also not pierce the fabric too many times leaving holes.*

*2/5/2021 - catching rays to help it dry faster. don’t know if this actually worked, but i liked how it looked from outside. so there.*

2/5/2021 - done drying and ready to seal the edges in Mod Podge. i stitched another row of linework outside of the first border as a guide for the interior edge of the satin stitch border. i don’t think it was absolutely necessary, but i like to hav… — 2/5/2021 - done drying and ready to seal the edges in Mod Podge. i stitched another row of linework outside of the first border as a guide for the interior edge of the satin stitch border. i don’t think it was absolutely necessary, but i like to have it. i’ve found that guidelines help keep my stitches neater.

*2/6/2021 - glued the edges to prevent fraying and started making my way around…*

*left & middle: J&P Coats Silk Finish Crochet Cotton, right: linen thread*

*top: Nun’s Boilproof, middle: DMC pearl cotton, bottom: Royal Society Embroidery Floss*

sidenote: started out using the scanner to document these pieces and was fighting it at every turn. trying to get the white balance to work or arranging things on the scanner bed, it was becoming a project in and of itself. was starting to set up a long and unnecessarily arduous process just to digitally capture threads. no thanks. yesterday was a nice, sunny day and the oxalis (Bermuda buttercups to be exact) in the yard were blooming and looked pretty, so i took a loose piece of bristol i’ve been using as a background for these kinds of little vignette photos and went outside. used a rock to keep the paper from scooting away in the breeze, and found it a handsome accompaniment. this one is a rock Sam brought home from a recent walkabout — a practice both he and i have carried on from our mothers. we are rock collectors.

the photos above are from yesterday, but these are some threads i picked up midway through the patch making process from a local vintage seller who had a pop-up shop in her garage. Sam and i came across her set-up by chance on a walk the weekend before last. there were so many interesting things for sale, but i was drawn to a little basket of threads and sewing notions. got a couple wooden spools of a bright yellow cotton thread, looks like somewhere between a #5 and #8 pearl cotton? could use it for quilting. also got a little skein of linen thread and several skeins of embroidery floss: Nun’s Boilproof thread size #3, DMC pearl cotton #5, and Royal Society Embroidery Floss without a size indication but the words “ROPE” instead. i probably won’t use the skeins of embroidery floss because it would require taking the packaging apart, and a big draw for me was the old school packaging and labels. the spools and linen don’t feel as precious since there’s no packaging to get through in order to use them. i’ll be giving those a whirl on future projects when i can.

*2/8/2021 - made it around with smoothly laid stitches. a miracle.*

*2/8/2021 - stitching the patch in place while on the phone with mom.*

came back to it on the 8th and completed the edge stitching, which i just today learned is called a “merrow border”, and sewed the patch onto my coveralls over the old embroidery. it looked good, but i hadn’t considered the direction of the arrow and proximity to my armpit until finishing up the patch and putting the coveralls on. not that i’m suggesting there’s a hidden interpretation when arrows and armpits meet, it’s just hard to see the arrowhead in the fabric folds since the suit is a bit baggy on me.

i was a little bit bummed to realize the arrow position after the fact — i just hadn’t seen it when i mocked it up in paper earlier. not to worry, it just provided another reason to try out more patches. i have a few more iterations in the works now, each different in one way or another. i’m using it as an opportunity to experiment with technique and materials. there’s one design that i’ll swap out for the one on the coveralls now and the rest will be put out into the world somehow. not too worried about it.

*all stitched on. the color combo and patch geometry reminds me of Napa Auto Parts. i dig it.*

ok, made it through that one. i started writing yesterday and paused for a bit to step away and take care of some other things: embroider a little, hang out with Sam and Simon, practice guitar. i didn’t see any need to barrel through and finish last night — there are no deadlines here. come this morning, i had some jumbled feelings of doom and gloom around recent medical goings on. it’s been a month-long endeavor to figure out what’s what, and i’ve reliably come to the most catastrophic conclusion with every new piece of information. handling medical situations with calm is not my strong suit, but i’m working on it. adding “battling hypochondria and catastrophizing” to my growing list of things to work on…

whatever it is, i have to just roll with it. i can’t wish a good outcome into existence or continue living in fear of the worst. it was important for me to confront my feelings of anxiety and fear, externalize them, and try to turn my attention to the present. i’m glad that i’m getting things taken care of — or that i have health insurance at all — and i’ll work on responding to new information as it comes rather than succumbing to the knee jerk reaction to spiral out into doom and gloom.

*deep breath*

P.S. i’ve had something on my mind that i want to add to the previous entry:

a big part of why i was uneasy and upset with folks for not observing the “rules of the trail” is because of the global pandemic we are still experiencing. i have complicated feelings about going out in public as COVID-19 and its numerous variants continue to put devastating numbers on the boards. there’s an inherent risk involved, and i do not take lightly. i’m relatively young and relatively healthy — *knock on wood* — yet it remains a consideration wherever i go. the grocery store or gas station are one thing, but it isn’t essential to go on a trail hike and eat oysters. however, i do want to continue to enjoy the outdoors and support local businesses. everything took place outside, with masks on, and we did our best to keep a safe distance from other folks as i usually do. just wanted to add that little bit of context.

parlor tricks 2/17/21 parlor tricks 2/17/21

coasting

went on a hike along the coast this past Sunday, followed by a visit to one of my favorite spots north of home where Sam and i watched cormorants dive for their meals while we sipped bevies and dined on oysters. guess i’m a coastal broad now? never imagined i’d joyfully eat oysters. outside. in the rain. ha! some things do change.

something i realized while we were out on Sunday is that hiking etiquette is important to me and i cannot expect other folks to feel the same. the trail was pretty busy but i felt little sense of community or communication when someone needed to pass — that woman had no home training... those sorts of things can upset me, and i can get pretty worked up over it. i’m working on that, and trying to better understand where my feelings of frustration stem from without judging myself for being upset. i’m making an effort to focus on the things that are in my control in order to let the other stuff fall away. water off a duck’s back…

still trying to keep the pressure down. don’t know whether i can completely turn it off just yet. and while i can’t expect myself from other people, i will continue observing the “rules of the trail”.

parlor tricks 2/10/21 parlor tricks 2/10/21

“caret navigation”

i’d been thinking about making a “search bar” journal cover for a while. it was another straightforward idea and workflow, so why not? i had imagined trying an 8-bit style, but knew that would take some time. i wanted to make something quick-and-dirty for proof of concept, it didn’t need to be perfect or the only version. the primary requirement was that it live outside of my head.

looked at a couple examples to start: Google, iTunes, Chrome, etcetera and the like. most of the search bars were rounded, either with half circles at each end or filleted corners. most had a magnifying glass icon, and several had “search” faintly written in the bar prior to typing. i like that approach: using graphics and text to signify use.

what i didn’t know was what the blinking text cursor was called. i was sure it had a name. if there was design or engineering involved it had to be called something.

this is exactly the sort of question i’d be too bashful to ask out loud in certain company. it isn’t elegant, but it’s what i could think of to get where i needed to go. i typed my question into Google and bam: turns out, it’s called “caret navigation”. asked and answered.

not far below the highlighted Wikipedia answer was a link to a blog whose author was also curious about cursors. i clicked through and was pleasantly surprised to find a “blog blog” — the old school kind with minimal formatting. i read the post about cursors and a few others. turns out the author, Paul, has several blogs in addition to the self deprecatingly eponymous one i had clicked on. some dedicated to niche interests like flipping the bird to routine inconveniences of life such as COVID-19 spam emails or cooking lasagna. i like his writing, but not all of it was to my taste — and that’s fine. for me, that wasn’t the point… *

in many cases when i’ve searched Google and clicked through to a suggested link the results have been severely underwhelming. it was serendipitous to find a human voice in the din of corporate jargon and sponsored content. i was excited to stumble across someone else’s reflections in the process of documenting my own and seeing where our curiosities overlapped.

*growing up in the states and on the internet, and given the current state of the world, i have come to expect horrific things from white men online. i read the posts with some tension, anticipating super offensive stuff. nothing found, also not digging too deep. just thought that was important context to keep in mind.

started cutting my hair today, and now it’s short. shorter than i was going for originally, i can say that for sure. “just a little bit” went in one ear and out the other. so far, i’ve shaped the sides and trimmed my bangs. now i need help with the back. i’m waiting for the work day to end so Sam can give me a hand. this isn’t my first rodeo at the DIY haircut corral, but it is the first time i’ve cut my own hair from shoulder length. glad it’s curly. relying heavily on the texture to hide any mistakes…

today’s writing was an exercise in processing some of the tangential moments that happen when i’m working, and oh are there tangents! i had started writing this last week, but took a break to give myself room to breathe through some other things. it was also in an effort to distract myself from returning to my “home salon” before i can get some assistance. i even gave the shears to Sam to hide — i can’t stop!

i’m doing my very best to remind myself that the mullet i have right now is temporary, and that it’ll be ok if my hair doesn’t turn out perfectly (i’m not a professional, it’s sort of a given that it won’t be). i just don’t want it to be totally f--ked up… ugh. *fingers crossed*

(p.s. the escape key in draft mode gets rid of all edits. try not to remember that the hard way… again.)

parlor tricks 2/8/21 parlor tricks 2/8/21

pressure: off

working through some stuff (same date, different journal for the details), but that hasn’t halted process and progress. and i have mostly been able to balance enthusiasm around work with external distractions and feelings of sadness. although it would be a feat to narrate it all together, i don’t want that to be the thing that hangs me up like it almost has several times before. i’ve got some ground to cover still before i can even imagine putting myself under that kind of pressure.

last week was a tough mental stretch — spotty reception. however, i don’t want that to get in the way of looking at things i’ve worked on during that time. i want to take the pressure off and release myself from feeling like i need to have things buttoned up and polished in order to be here. one: that’s not the point of this space and, two: looking at work separately doesn’t mean i’d be ignoring the introspective processing. again, this isn’t all-or-nothing…

breaking it down into smaller pieces, starting with some photos from the weekend. the minis are from our Friday breakfast walk, and the squares are from Sunday.

i like ‘em.

hey you,

remember: this is going to take time. you’ve come all this way — try not to get discouraged. the blues come around sometimes, and you’re learning how to body surf when the waves aren’t so gentle. take a deep breath… you may have to go under for a bit and tread water, but you’ll come up again. this weekend wasn’t entirely blue either — there was a lot of brightness, too. it’ll almost always be a balance, and you are getting better at being honest about how you feel and holding space for what comes. that’s nothing to slouch at.

try not to be so hard on yourself — i think this is part of the process.

listened to LA Priest’s ‘GENE’ while putting this internet thing together. me likey.

the thought just ran through my mind that i’ve been sitting on this album, saving it for a perfect time to listen, or something like that; and then totally forgot about it… until just now when i went cruising through my music library and scrolled to it. considered saving it for another time, then clicked play.

glad this was when it happened — great sound for right now. gonna give it another round…

parlor tricks 2/1/21 parlor tricks 2/1/21

keeping it together

looked at a few hair color and border schemes once the chibi-inspired head design was finished. came across some cool references at characterdesignreferences.com when i was researching Steven Universe character design. — *looked at a few hair color and border schemes once the chibi-inspired head design was finished. came across some cool references at* *characterdesignreferences.com* *when i was researching Steven Universe character design.*

watched Steven Universe with Sam during lunch today, as usual. the episode, “Keeping it Together,” was Garnet heavy, no complaints here. Garnet is a pretty boss gem and definitely my favorite. i identify with Garnet a whole lot. the show is great, and each character is relatable in one way or another, except for Onion, maybe? no, no way. Onion is a big deal. i love Steven Universe…

Garnet focused episodes get me so hyped. “Keeping it Togehter” was pretty dark though, not as much fun, uplifting stuff going on. it kicks off with laundry folding (yuck!), then Ruby and Sapphire nearly split after experiencing internal conflict (yikes!).

got me to thinking about my Garnet patch — the one i made last year — and that i hadn’t done anything with the pictures i’d taken. so here that is, because why not? better out than in!

i started with a full body Garnet reference (which would have been so cool!), but decided it would have taken more time and resources to make than i necessarily wanted to spend on a patch at that time. so i re-illustrated Garnet to a chibi-inspired head. Garnet’s whole form is rad, she has gauntlet hands for Peedee’s sake! but probably my favorite part of Garnet’s physical form is her hair. for lots of reasons, one being that it’s awesome! i was on the fence about making her hair frame her entire head. happy i did. more merrier hair.

*6/20/20 - filler stitches for Garnet’s face and shades*

*6/21/20 - starting Garnet’s hair. stitched french knots using a lightweight wool yarn.*

6/22/20 - just before this point i realized i should have dissolved the stabilizer before stitching the hair… — *6/22/20 - just before this point i realized i should have dissolved the stabilizer* ***before*** *stitching the hair…*

6/25/20 - the color in this pic is goofy, and there’s cat fur everywhere… but look at that hair! — *6/25/20 - the color in this pic is goofy, and there’s cat fur everywhere… but look at that* ***hair***!

6/25/20 - choosing between satin and cotton stranded embroidery floss. had also just trimmed the fabric leaving a 1/8” or so border for stitching in yellow. used tacky glue at the edges to prevent fraying.

*6/26/20 - decided to use the regular cotton six-stranded DMC floss in color 973 - bright canary.*

alrighty, a few hot tips — no… super tips! — i’ve taken away from this process:

stabilizers are great for transferring designs onto dark fabric. i’ll try using tear-away stabilizer instead of water-soluble next time. and/or don’t embroider outside and then water the garden… had issues with water-soluble stabilizer on another embroidery project after this one, so it’s not just situational.
soak the fabric to dissolve the stabilizer before starting dense stitches (especially if they’re wool). i didn’t do it here until after starting on the hair. it became apparent that soaking it and trying to remove the stabilizer after finishing the french knots would be frustrating. it wasn’t too bad getting it out of the stitches i’d already done, but there wasn’t any reason to keep it, it was just a large fill area with no design information.
don’t need to use mod podge or heat n bond on the back of the patch. i used a heavyweight cotton for the base and the stitches were pretty stable. i would consider starting out with fusible stabilizer on the back (wrong) side of the patch fabric if i felt it needed more structure.
- mod podge is pretty runny, and even though i used it carefully it came through the front stitches a little. some of the glue got into the satin floss fibers of Garnet’s shades. bummer…
- i used the heat n bond on the back of the patch thinking it would make it more rigid. it did not… it’s intended for making iron-on patches and fusing appliqué. skip it.
uh, do this more. yeah… more things like this.

when i was working on my Garnet patch identity was the topic on everyone’s lips. June 2020 was a time. yeesh… i was still at my last office job and felt isolated and invisible. i saw myself in Garnet, and wanted to make Garnet visible on me. making the patch was an escape from the world, basically; and the process of making, now as ever, has kept me together. last June, through all the bullsh-t, i was able to make space to protect my mental health and exercise creativity authentically. one of my earlier revelations! was realizing i had the agency to do so. it’s a process, baby…

my Garnet patch lives on the back of my jean jacket, which — oh! — reminds me of another time from last year! Sam and i were eating at a seafood spot we really enjoy, celebrating our anniversary and my departure from “work-work”. i was feeling good, feeling confident, feeling myself. i can’t remember who shot first, but eye contact was made with one of the servers and she said, “great patch, i love Steven Universe!” ugh, cherry!

parlor tricks 1/31/21 parlor tricks 1/31/21

ubiquity

remember this?

it’s getting nice outside. the birds singing this morning sound like they notice too. the first thing that came to mind was singing, “my life, my life, my life, my life! in the sunshine!” from ‘Everybody Loves the Sunshine’ by Roy Ayers Ubiquity.

“just bees, and thangs, and flow-wahs!”

feeling good.

parlor tricks 1/27/21 parlor tricks 1/27/21

Pokey

dropped off a typewriter to get fixed the other day. after some chit-chat with the typewriter repairman, i set out to road-test the mixtape i’ve been working on. i like doing that — driving and listening to mixtapes-in-progress — before putting my pencil down. i hadn’t planned on going driving, but plans change. i headed down a familiar avenue and took it farther than i have before. several towns from home i realized i was heading toward an antique store i like and charted a course.

the shop is small with stalls arranged thematically, and an entire corner filled with toys. on my first visit i spent a bit of time in the toy corner and found a posable, rubbery Pokey figure just like the one i had as a kid. i wanted to get it then, but resisted on account of my penchant for collecting. on every visit since then i’d play a game: check the toy shelves for Pokey, leave him there for next time. this Pokey wasn’t in great condition, or particularly collectible; but he was recognizable, familiar. i looked forward to searching for Pokey just as much as i did combing through the bric-a-brac.

last time i stopped in i noticed that the shop was downsizing. one of the two back rooms that usually showcased larger pieces had been closed off. i was seeing that Pokey wasn’t the only thing that could disappear on the next visit — it could be the whole store. queue the world’s tiniest violin please…

i decided to buy the Pokey toy before i even pulled into the lot. i regretted not buying it last time and didn’t want to pass up the opportunity. (also, there were a couple brochures i had seen that would make great collage material. two birds, really.)

i walked in, said a quick “hello” to the gentleman arranging items in stalls and headed straight to the toy shelves where Pokey was, right where i saw him last. i pulled Pokey from a clutter of toys, grabbed the brochures and excitedly chirped my Pokey story to the same gentleman as before who was now ringing me up. he obligingly replied, “oh, yeah?” unsurprisingly, he wasn’t as humored to hear my story as i had been to tell it. can’t win ‘em all.

i finished listening to the mixtape on the drive home. i’m happy with it. it tells the story i need it to, for me. it is finally done, and Pokey is finally my pony.

the mixtape making process is a whole other thing. i had tried writing it along with my Pokey story, but it was proving quite challenging. i thought it could be the character building kind of challenge, but it was getting confusing and i kept generalizing important details. when i read back what i wrote, i feel as thought it was written for someone else. not helpful, and more disorienting.

i need space to reflect and clearly articulate some complicated feelings. feelings around processing relationships and memory. i want to give myself room to move and breathe before unleashing it to this space and the internet time capsule.

also, i want to dispatch another note-to-self: this is for you - write for your own self-reflection. what is it that you need from this? write to describe your process so that you may better understand how you move through the world. you got this…

parlor tricks 1/24/21 parlor tricks 1/24/21

warning signs

*not the biggest art board mess i’ve made. yes, that is a little head illustration in the middle.*

getting into good things. making good messes. although never intended, i often end up with an illustrator art board ‘splosion. i can make sense of it, which is what ultimately matters. the days of naming files “pinup boardsfinal-final-FINAL.ai” are in the rearview, mostly. i have created “file name_versionx.ai” a time or two. harm reduction. i’m hesitant to break up design families and iterations into different files. can be frustrating looking for an element that’s similar but saved in a different file. fortunately illustrator has a limited drawing area, otherwise…

up in the left hand corner i had been working on lettering to use as a journal cover based on the hairpin turn. with more work i think it could get there, but it needed a lot of time and wasn’t the originally intended subject. saving for another day.

*worked out the spiraling curves on dot-grid paper first.*

the graphic brevity of warning signs can, at times, bely the severity of what needs to be brought to a driver’s attention. like, did a snake pave this road? why so windy? i imagined driving down a stretch and seeing a ludicrously exaggerated road sign for “winding road ahead.” a relentless warning.

“oh geez, well it’s gonna go on winding for a good ways there. be careful!”

i don’t know, that’s just what came to mind.

three main squeeze warning signs show up here: winding road, hairpin turn, and added lane. these schemes were simple and, importantly, repeatable. wanted something that could be made into an extended path or line pattern.

the original winding road graphic is more of a sine curve, and i was having a bit of a hard time re-creating it. i went off-book from the MUTCD and used half-circles instead. it’s not an exact replica. it was never meant to be.

*tested out some of the lettering ideas too.*

“hairpin turn ahead” was the first one i worked on in the series. it reminded me of a professor’s diagram on recursive design process. the gist of the pedagogical ideology being discussed was that working recursively encouraged processing ideas forwards, and backwards, yielding a more dynamic result than a linear process. each time the loop makes a turn to come back around it has to pass over a previous section of itself.

this graphic resonates with my own goals for process. hashtag goals.

the bit of yellow sign that peeks through when the loops cross-over is an overlaid path. i think that could be created more elegantly, but it worked!

*construction paper version. wrote a little about it a few days ago.*

the “added lane ahead” sign reminded me of how easily thoughts can come and go. although i’m finding mine rarely go. my noggin can bottleneck.

i like that this sign is diamond shape, like the others, but the design is also on the diagonal. made for a fun opportunity to exaggerate the sign diagonally. imagine a sign like this jutting over a road, ha! aside from the obvious obstacle it would create, it would be a funny sight.

tried a version of this were the sign was vertically plumb. it just didn’t hit the same. there’s something about the angle to the graphic that gives the impression of the lanes coming from and going off the sign, “lanes are longer than they may appear.”

also recognizing that i’ve have been altogether too protective of this series of drawings. feel like i was saving them for some sort of grand reveal. to who? anyway, i could tell that i was starting to get all “my precious” gollum-y with it. cut that out!

i think i see potential for this exploration to generate other ideas and i’m feeling guarded about marking it down and moving on. no, moving forward. there will be a time when i’m not working with these signs, but that doesn’t mean i’m done with them. just need to switch gears and tend to the other simmering pots.

*vertical version. was also trying out some graphics that would “make sense.” dropped that pretty quickly.*

almost, almost, left out the railroad crossing sign from the journal cover. this was from a little while ago, which is still not governed by the same rules of time as “the before times.” so, to be more accurate, this is from early january this year. having already gotten to work on the warning signs, i was looking to create more road sign/warning sign type GIFs. railroad crossing was another straightforward design that incorporated motion.

couple of image references i used. the diagram on the left is from the previously mentioned MUTCD, continues to be a great resource. the image to the right is a cool articulated arm that i thought i would incorporate but realized partway into creating the base illustration that i would be punching way above my weight class. for now, at least.

*sketch study of sign, working out whether to include “tricks” in the criss-cross or beneath it.*

*all the GIF frames collapsed into one. turkey tail? … anyone?*

there were 20 frames in all. the arm at the top and bottom positions were 2 frames, one for each flashing light. the frames between could have been more frequent for a smoother animation. i also considered how this would look if i hand drew out the arm raising and lowering. i think there would be an opportunity to add smoothness (or, smoothnicity, as CrafsMan says). oh! or i could add motion blur between the frames in photoshop. that would double the ‘tweener frames though since i would need a motion blur for each direction… another to save for later.

parlor tricks 1/21/21 parlor tricks 1/21/21

color studies

first things first, yesterday kicked off a string of palindromic days this month: 1-20-21, 1-21-21… always enjoy a palindrome!

little bit of vamping for an intro that may be unnecessary. the title is a giveaway, right? simply put, continuing work on warning sign designs while studying color. here’s where i’ve been with that over the last couple of days:

*at the start: stencils, color wheel, and construction paper*

hi-yo! what better place to start than the classic primary triad of yellow/blue/red? seriously, it's the most straightforward so i really did want to start here. color seems really simple, which is usually the first indication of how complex something is.

i used the “hairpin turn ahead” graphic, i like it. looks like a “u-turn”, but it’s not. i think that’s because the momentum is up and to the right giving an impression of moving forward. like writing and reading. at least in a Latin/Greek influenced written language sort of way…

printed out some stencils that i made from my illustrator doc with other signs and stuff that i’ll get to later… anyway! printed some stencils and got to cutting.

kept the primary (yikes, punny) foreground color yellow, cause i like it; and because it’s evocative of the original warning sign design. then, cut the additional elements from the remaining colors to test which worked best as background/arrow/ring. having more cut-out pieces than needed gave room for experimentation with background, arrow, and border color. glad to have stuck around for a bit of swapping rather than just charging ahead. it allowed me to consider alignments and relationships i may not have otherwise.

*i like how the blue arrow over yellow foreground looks like a cut-out in the foreground through to the blue background.*

*mock-up with red background and blue foreground arrow. i preferred the visual impact of the blue background and red foreground arrow.*

now, cutting the little ring that borders the edge has bested me time after time. thought i’d gotten the technique down to where only one stencil could be used to make all cuts. not the case. what ended up working was to use one stencil for the foreground and background pieces and a second for the ring and arrow cut-outs. the stencil intended for the ring cut-out needs to have a bit more paper excess around the edges to allow the straightedge to keep the paper taut while cutting the thin strip. otherwise, if the stencil is cut too close to the design lines, the pressure of the blade on the paper pushes it down ending up with an uneven cut. these aren’t intended to be perfect, but i know myself better than to say i’d walk away happy from a roughly cut edge… i think i’ve gotten it down now.

i like all of the color combinations of this triad. the primaries are sort of fool-proof. they look good in any arrangement and working with them felt approachable and flexible.

using constriction paper in primary colors felt like bing in elementary school again - only now i understand a little more why they go together so well.

*the ring of color matched the arrow here. when used in a split complementary or triad scheme, these elements appear as one “sign” kind of like they were offset screen printed over top. i dig.*

the second study was violet/red-violet split complementary. using what colors i had from 12 included in the pack. this combination is reading between the lines a bit. the purple is taking the place of a more nuanced “red-violet” that may not even be available in construction paper of this quality… no matter, made do.

i like this one too. it’s not as bare bones basic as the primary combo, but it still feels familiar to me.

*still using two separate pieces for the arrow cut-out. it was with this and the first r/b/y that i thought to cut away the arrow from the overlapping diamond to reveal the color behind.*

***“red-violet” split complementary:*** *green, violet (should be “red-violet”), & yellow*

so, a couple few things i noticed while working on the first studies yesterday:

when the background color and bottom arrow are the same, it appears as if the arrow is cut from the foreground. i hadn’t achieved it that way in the first two studies, i used two additive arrows
- studies that followed had foregrounds with arrow shape cut from it
in the primary triad, the red ring is shifted left while the red overlapping arrow is shifted right. (that sentence reads funny. just scroll back up to see what it’s about.) this looks strange if the eye is meant to see the red ring and red arrow as paired together. however… the miss-match isn’t a deal breaker for me
i like the negative space around the overlapping arrows of the primary triad study. it feels like the right amount of breathing room in the main background/foreground offset and around the overlapped arrows

and probably some other things i forgot to jot down for later…

*i do like this one as-is. maybe save for later.*

worked on another triad of green, orange, and violet. there are two greens in my paper pack and i chose “yellow-green” for this, which should be accompanied by a “red-orange” and “blue-violet” according to my new, handy-dandy color wheel. in addition to the violet, i cut out a blue ring and arrow to test out as a stand in for “blue-violet”. with the orange it felt too New York Knickerbockers for my taste… no shade! went with violet in the end.

the violet gives this combo 1990’s Nickelodeon vibes. super into it. the simple study with green cut-out foreground and orange background is a fun one too.

*first tetrad study testing out violet arrow with orange ring…*

***tetrad:*** *blue, yellow, orange, & violet*

***tetrad:*** *pink, violet, yellow, & yellow-green*

the last one for today was a tetrad of lighter colors. this, along with the other studies, looked instinctively harmonious once everything was pieced together, but i had my doubts… i wouldn’t have picked these colors on my own without the aid of a color wheel. realizations like this during the process of making each of these studies encourages me to continue exploring. i feel less intimidated by color after the last couple of days, and that feels empowering.

there are a couple of books that Sam has, and i’m borrowing, to help along the way. one is Josef Albers' ‘Interactions of Color’ and the other is Garth Lewis’ ‘2000 Colour Combinations’. i believe the Albers book has exercises in it which i’m excited to get into. i’m also cooking up project ideas that incorporate color studies experimenting in different mediums and techniques. hello appliqué!

this is only the beginning!

i had started to write a bit about yesterday’s presidential inauguration, but didn’t see much use. it is what it is. pomp isn’t really on the itinerary for me. i am glad i caught it in time to see Kamala Harris being sworn in as vice president. and to hear, and see, Ms. Amanda Gorman perform her poem ‘The Hill We Climb.’

continuing to observe and stay engaged. i am much more cautiously optimistic about things now than in the last four years. and, for lack of cheerfully enthusiastic words to raise a glass to, i’ll borrow a few from a fave: “to better times.”

parlor tricks 1/17/21 parlor tricks 1/17/21

speed hump

soooo… i’ve been working on some road signs - yes, sticking with that theme currently — and have been putting off documenting the process because… i don’t have a reason. not a good one at least. i think i was adding things to the overall project, and made myself believe that i shouldn’t post anything about it until it was buttoned up and polished.

hold on a sec…

lemme make sure this thing is plugged in…

*ahem*…

process is what you came here for!

ok? future me?! hope you remember that! or remember to come back here and refresh yourself. refresh yourself!

without further ado, or pomp, or verbose word vomit to vamp around my discomfort documenting something that isn’t finished (i’m working on it…), here are a few pieces that i’ve been working on over the last few weeks:

*from left there’s the “winding road”, “hairpin curve”, and “added lane” ahead signs.*

i’ve been using the Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices to reference design standards and sign usage. i hadn’t seen the design standards before getting into the making of the three signs above in illustrator, but am now incorporating the standards into future explorations. i’m not about to mass produce road signs, so i’m adhering loosely. nevertheless, the standards provide a helpful touchstone for composition and color.

started out looking at the “warning signs” which are classically yellow with black text or graphics. big fan of the color yellow, why resist it?

*the first iteration: solid yellow base with black cut-out glued over top*

*and the second: black loops cut from yellow.*

i prematurely decided while making the recursive hairpin loops that i didn’t like the way the second iteration was going. so i got sloppy when i was gluing and ripped the yellow paper in a few places. looking at it now, i don’t dislike it as much as i had convinced myself in the making of, but i still like the first iteration better. i like the detail of the narrow strip around the border. i also cut it and remember how delicate i had to be to not rip the thin ring of construction paper.

i’ve been using run-of-the-mill construction paper. keeping that barrier to entry low, things aren’t as precious as they may be if i was using “nice” paper. i really like construction paper, actually. the cheapy, inexpensive stuff that litters elementary school classrooms. it’s no fuss and after being handled it starts to take on characteristics similar to fabric. i like that it has texture and character. i like it.

this exploration has also encouraged me to look at color using these simplified road sign graphics. that’s why i wanted to get a color wheel the other day. color is daunting, so i’m starting small.

*using colors as close as i can get them from my pack of construction paper to explore color theory.*

like i said at the top, i was putting this off after convincing myself i needed to have all of the pieces of this project completed, or nearly so, in order to document it. then, late last night, i opened an email from The CrafsMan and saw that he too was working on warning signs of his own. i felt excited seeing a creator i admire exploring something similar to what i had been. and with precision timing my anxiety walked through the door to let me know that i was un-original and anything i shared after-the-fact would be seen as a rip-off.

my head can be a mean place…

took a bit to shake those feelings away, but i have, and will continue to. this is just a pit stop along the way. a snapshot on the road trip. a whole host of other metaphors and similes and analogies that i don’t know or have the energy to corral.

alrighty, off for a morning walk to coffee and breakfast. back to the drawing board later.

fun after-the-fact: i used the phrase“without further adieu” when i first wrote this. thought it read strangely using the french word for goodbye. turns out i correctly identified my incorectness. the saying is actually “without further ado.” not this time, eggcorn!

parlor tricks 1/14/21 parlor tricks 1/14/21

buffering…

cleaned my desk yesterday. felt good to follow up on the phase one document purge-and-shred from earlier this week. needed to recalibrate my organization strategy to make space for my small reference library which had been living on the literal edge of my desk. anytime i accidentally knocked over a book (which was often) it set off a chain reaction with nearly half a dozen other precariously situated accoutrements. there’s no sense in that.

winding down on the cleaning process today, i’m confounded by all of the little things that are left without a spot or collection to be housed with. sometimes the little stuff trips me up more than the big stuff. making space for the dictionary isn’t so bad, but the small box of slide film holders? i guess those should go in the back of a huge box and stored in an unreachable spot on my bookshelf for a year or so. yup.

so, in an effort to avoid that situation, i’ve corralled the floaters for more consideration

the desk clean and other housekeeping took most of the day and mental energy. i didn’t have it in me to jump back into a project, but i did go on a walk and picked up a color wheel! and some other less necessary art supplies. i didn’t have a physical color wheel and felt the solution was pretty low effort; and there’s a good art store in walking distance. the walk allowed me to collect my thoughts on a few in-progress projects. i needed the space, desk and dome, to ruminate.

there were moments of desk-mess that were productive, and glad i caught them. fussed with a few of those images last night, testing and working out some ideas. hadn’t intended to make any images; but i like it, so there it is at the top. oh! and i made a recreation of the classic buffering cursor hourglass! i know, it’s simple; but i thoroughly enjoyed making it ^_^

it’s nice to have room to think about project stuff without the visual clutter of having it all out. and i’m happy to be in a productive mindset having become familiar with the opposite. definitely needed to clear some things out to make space for new stuff to load.

oop! just felt an earthquake…

ok, bye bye!

parlor tricks 1/12/21 parlor tricks 1/12/21

stovetop rice

(better use headphones)

parlor tricks 1/10/21 parlor tricks 1/10/21

hello stranger

*selfie, overexposed VW bus, and some houses i liked.*

more instant photos that i’ve taken the last several days. the polaroids are from thursday, the 7th, on a walk around the neighborhood. i wore boots instead of tennies to slow myself down. i had some things on my mind that i wanted some time to think about. on my way through thoughts, i crossed paths with a couple of cats in a stroller, a crumpled monarch butterfly — unclear whether on its way in or out, kids skateboarding for snacks, and so many neighbors. maybe not neighbors i knew personally, but ones whose faces were becoming more familiar over the weeks and months of routine strolls.

it was a good walk. i didn’t go far, but i traveled.

on a technical note re: polaroids — i didn’t have as much success exposing the faster 600 film outside as i have in, but i’m pleased with what i got and moreso for having taken them in the first place. i can get self conscious taking photographs out and about. i worry i’m drawing attention when i’d rather slip into the margins of the scene — an observer, not a performer. i sometimes see people looking at me or in the direction of whatever the subject may be and i think to myself, “i wonder if they see what i see." which used to cause worry that what i saw was uninteresting or unimportant. gradually i realized those thoughts aren’t helpful. i take pictures of things i like, that catch my eye. no further self-explanation needed.

*the subject isn’t provocative nor rendering exact. that’s rarely the goal with instant photos.*

these next few instant photos are from the 10th and were taken with Sam’s square instax camera. we were spending socially-distant hang-time with friends in the parking lot across from their place. i’ve only been a handful of times and have so far seen the lot resourcefully used as a track, roller rink, playground, and stoop. the afternoon light was nice - shadows from utility lines complimented the roofline they were cast on. at one point several crows perched themselves on the lines and took flight before i could save it. these weren’t any ordinary crows either. they had just been at ground level, foraging and flipping over clods of dirt that seemed bigger than they were. seeing this effort had me looking at our almond and peanut fed yard birds a little differently…

the topic of conversation meandered momentarily to instagram, which i deleted from my phone and haven’t been on since october. well, that’s not entirely accurate… i haven’t engaged with instagram since then, but my account is still technically active; sitting somewhere in a data oort cloud, gathering dust. i stepped away from the platform for my own health; i felt like i couldn’t parse things out and gauge authenticity. i thought i was making an effort to be honest on the platform - honest with myself and the things i shared — posting photos in hopes of gaining exposure while also exploring others’ work. easier said than done, and i often found myself refreshing notifications after every post to surveil incoming “likes.” it felt an unnecessary pressure and source of anxiety that i could easily disengage from. so i did.

absence from mainstream social media can feel like invisibility. so much of life nowadays references back to one of a few “.com” addresses, everything else feels like small potatoes. it can feel isolating to exist in the digital landscape without a connection back to a larger network. i had briefly contemplated creating a “parlor tricks” instagram account to link to this space, and i’m embarrassed to even say so. social media isn’t an inherent part of the creative process, not for me, and that’s ok.

i considered how i’ve shared my photos on Flickr (the only social media i actively engage in and still enjoy) and in this space, and the purpose these spaces hold in my process: to leave clues and notes en route. i thought about the challenge and goal to maintain a digitally accessible creative journal that i can use as reference along my creative timeline. i needed a space that was able to move forward, backward, up, down, and sideways. i needed an accessible time capsule. i needed the internet. and maybe i am talking to myself in a void here, but it’s also the most crowded room i know with billions of other people criss-crossing it at any given moment. there is a nice solitude here knowing there may never be anyone else who reads any of this other than myself (and you, Sam. hi!). and by magnitude and chaos of the interwebz, i know that solitude won’t last forever… (another subject for another day perhaps?)

i am still getting comfortable with the direction of things, as evidenced by nearly every entry so far; and i will need to be compassionate with myself when feelings of isolation and invisibility creep in again. before signing off i want to install a reminder, should i find myself here again, to follow my instincts and trust myself whether it be in my work, social network, or instant photos.

and if you happen to find yourself here and you are not me, hello stranger.

parlor tricks 1/6/21 parlor tricks 1/6/21

not a planner

seriously, i am not a planner. not in the buzzy, corporate sense anyway. i love paper and pens and paper related things. and yet i’ve have managed to avoid paper that in planner form since since high school, or thereabouts, when everyone was issued an agenda for keeping academic engagements and homework organized. while i haven’t established a relationship with a physical planner as an adult, i have meandered through online planners and task-management apps. nothing’s really stuck. the closest i’ve come to it is drawing months onto post-it notes and marking days with color coded dots to signify whether i had an exercise class or evening meet-up. then slashing across the days as they passed and stacking up the spent months a little post-it pile.

around this time last year i prototyped a physical planner page, but only tried it out for one week. afterwards, i pasted it into my sketchbook like a piece of evidence and didn’t try it again. there’s a documentation method that could use some work… and i should probably prototype more than one week (uh, duh). i pulled it back out today and re-tooled it a little, just in case this year is the one that includes a planner.

style a: the iteration i tried last year, giving preference to friday which was a busier personal day of the week — ***style a:*** *the iteration i tried last year, giving preference to friday which was a busier personal day of the week*

style b: maybe this could work for a spread across pages or a small, single-sided planner? — ***style b:*** *maybe this could work for a spread across pages or a small, single-sided planner?*

style c: “the weekender” — ***style c:*** *“the weekender”*

*fooling around with composition. i think this would be neat as a digital, interactive planner sheet. (and maybe one of these days i’ll finally learn After Effects for vector animations)*

i computer-ized the first iteration from last year. this was from a time when i mainly used my work calendar for weekday things with personal appointments in the margins of weekdays and mostly on weekends. i still used my work calendar to log personal appointments as a courtesy for scheduling purposes in the office but not really for reminders or notifications. i wanted a calendar that had room for weekday reminders and notes, but gave preference to the weekends since that’s where i had the most personal time.

nowadays, in quarintime, my days bleed together without clear definition between work time and personal time. and seeing as it’s a new year, i’m willing to give this planner thing another shot and to see whether it can be flexible enough to handle the time-soup i’m in.

playing around with the composition and proportion of weekdays on the sheet, i thought it could be cool to explore as an interactive digital planner. that way the space for each day could respond to the schedule, sliding around and allowing some days to bloat and others to shrink. oh! and the boundaries of the digital “sheet” could be locked so that a really busy week would be stuffed and bursting! disgusting, but so real. lacking coding knowledge beyond very basic html, this would need to be a collaboration with someone literate in the computer languages and such.

keeping this open ended - i’m interested to see how this works out.

*left: scanned a few hours after being taken. right: scanned this afternoon, about 24 hours later.*

a followup to yesterday: there was a difference in the polaroid over time (i think). it may just be psychological, or most the difference is a result of scanning technique.

scanning Polaroids directly on flatbed scanner glass runs the risk of producing Newtonian rings which are a bit like a moiré pattern and a total pain in the butt to edit from images, so i usually just leave them in… i’ve found that leaving the scanner lid up helps a little since there isn’t pressure mushing the photo onto the glass, and that’s what i did with the first image scanned yesterday.

i tried something a little different today by keeping the scanner lid up and placing a blank sheet of bristol over the polaroid as a background. i think the improved results may be a result of the bristol rather than the development time, but i’ll have to try this again to see.

while composing this news was coming in that the Capitol building in Washington D.C. had been stormed by terrorist t**** supporters. i’m not immune to what’s happening, not by a long shot; but i am trying my best to focus on the things that are within my immediate circle of control. no notifications, no doomscrolling, and limited interactions with talking heads. it’s also important to remember that words mean things, no matter how hard politicians try to manipulate language to suit their agenda. here are a few that best describe t****, his actions, and the political climate he is inciting:

coup d’état (n): a sudden decisive exercise of force in politics; esp: the violent overthrow or alteration of an existing government by a small group

sedition (n): incitement of resistance to or insurrection against lawful authority

insurrection (n): an act or instance of revolting against civil authority or an established government

terrorism (n): the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion

treason (n): the offense of attempting by overt acts to overthrow the government or the state to which the offender owes allegiance or to kill or personally injure the sovereign or the sovereign’s family

thank you Merriam-Webster’s for keeping it real.

parlor tricks 1/5/21 parlor tricks 1/5/21

sidenote

took a snapshot of the desk and what’s going on. used the Polaroid since i’d loaded it up with fresh film last month to take a picture of Simon. up till then it hadn’t been used in a couple of years. whoops.

picked up a new pack of Polaroid 600 film a couple weeks ago. this pack in particular is a stop or two too quick for my camera which usually takes lower iso SX-70 films. to compensate i loaded a neutral density filter over top of the film pack to slow it down and allow for more accurate light control from the exposure wheel. the nd filter stays in after the dark slide is released, and then taken out at the end to use another time.

trying to get reacquainted with the feel and settings of this camera. for the desk pic i turned the exposure wheel a little to the right (from my position, behind the camera) to underexpose a bit. hit the red button: game on. camera makes its trademark shhhakunk whrrrrrrrrr… as though it’s somehow also making the film?

i’m glad the Polaroid formula is getting more dialed in, i’m liking the look of this film. but it is still finicky and likes a dark, warm place to develop. i haven’t found a consistent solution for quickly getting the film into an ideal incubation environment. clothes pockets work well, and my shirt breast pocket did the trick today. i think i gave it a half hour or so to develop before scanning it, maybe even less. it also takes a long time to really cook and “set”. i would venture to say it takes a full day before everything gels.

just took another peak at it and i think there’s more shadow definition with an hour or so more time. maybe i’m hyping myself up. should scan again in a few hours and compare.

ok, bye bye!

parlor tricks 1/4/21 parlor tricks 1/4/21

house numbers

walked into the first monday of the year pretty hard, a true headbanger. i had set myself up for a breezy morning after spending the later bits of sunday leaving breadcrumbs of ideas and thoughts from the weekend. instead, i turned to anxiety who is a dang hostess with the most-est. however, recognizing my uninvited guest, i tried not to allow anxiety to make itself comfortable. a conscious move toward self-care and kindness. while i don’t want to linger here, it did feel necessary to acknowledge the anxiety shaped elephant in my room before taking time to reflect on the walk Sam and i went on yesterday. the subject i had intended to come to at the start of the day. it was the first walk of the new year which came after a string of walks that had been postponed, delayed, or distracted from (can’t blame inclement weather for everything).

usually neighborhood walks, independently or with Sam, are without agenda or direction or concern for time. i think this approach has precedent in dérive and the situationists (a topic discussed in architecture school), but not quite. thought i’d mention it in case i need to come back to it, but i really don’t want to get into that…

contributing factors like time of day, light quality, season, and mindset, amplify or subdue the characteristics of each neighborhood. the feature that stood out more on this walk than others before was house numbers. i think because it was foggy and the field of view was limited i was focused on things nearer and at a smaller scale. a few house numbers jumped out toward the start, first taking notice of an abundance of sans-serif Neutra Modern numbers, the kind usually affixed to a remodeled or newly constructed home facade. to my surprise and delight, there were just as many numbers that embraced whimsy and playfulness, and even humor (although likely intentional). like ones that appeared to have been arranged on a level, horizontal line only to be mounted after the fact at an angle to match a railing or sloping trim.

i browsed the internet for a bit to see whether i could identify some of the more interesting looking house numbers, quickly ended up on pinterest, and became instantly claustrophobic from it all. so. much. Neutra. Modern.

spotted several homes with acrylic address numerals, a neat idea subject to questionable execution. there was one example i saw where acrylic house numbers were done sharply. in this case, the numbers worked in concert with the surrounding elements. opaque numbers were fixed to an acrylic base and hung above the door frame of an enclosed porch allowing the woodwork behind to remain visible. the numbers may have been an off-the-shelf selection (no shade!) but were set more thoughtfully than others like it, which is another way of saying that i liked the kerning and orientation. i think the italicized nature of many house numbers does a doozy on their installers. there were so many along our walk that were italicized and installed italic-ly (slightly leaning forward). looked as thought they were going to tumble right off the wall.

not this house. the numbers were nice, and so was the rest. the exterior was a rich jade green with white painted woodwork and trim and brick red stairs. the scale was nice and it had a well manicured yard, but not too fussy. i don’t know… i just got a good feeling looking at this house, and quickly realized that with three security cameras the house was looking back. yikes…

while i like to share many of the neighborhood photos i take, i do so with privacy in mind; omitting house numbers and street signs where possible when composing a photo. but seeing as how this was focused on the character and composition, including house numbers specifically, i thought it best to represent this house with a sketch from the photo rather than the photo itself and leaving some room for ambiguity.

*i really enjoyed the scale and symmetry of the entry. the flanking sidelights are geometric and playful. it’s well detailed and uncomplicated. i appreciate that.*

now, it’s not uncommon to pass by a remodel or ground-up home that falls into the category of “gentrification special”. several visual characteristics easily identify a house like this, including but not limited to: tall, narrow board ipe privacy fences, dark gray and black painted exteriors, and Neutra Modern house numbers (*wink) are a few. we came across just the sort containing the aforementioned characteristics: dark exterior, tall privacy fence, modern house numbers; the architectural headbanger of our walk. i remember passing it and doing a double take. stopping and pointing at it. gawking. reading an obnoxious “no dog poop” sign hanging from the handrail and feeling an impulse to hang an even bigger, “this is dog poop!” sign over it. i don’t know, i could go on about this house but i won’t. i mean, i don’t like it, but so what?

for me, stepping away from working in architecture also means stepping away from the toxic critique culture that it engenders. i am allowed my opinion, and so is everyone else. so what? i find it less useful or helpful to my own process to nitpick and criticize this house. people live here and call it home, their opinion on this house far outweighs anyone else’s. critiquing this house isn’t going to make me feel more confident in my design sensibilities. something i can extract and keep for personal benefit are design elements that i don’t like/agree with/care for and therefore won’t use in my own work. this one may not be worth remembering for the same reasons as the jade green number, but i’ll remember what i need to from it. “design moves to avoid…”

trying to stay mindful and present, i didn’t have my phone out to take quick pics the whole time. there was also a lot of juggling foggy glasses with my face mask that made taking film photos an effort. while i may not need specks to wander they do come in handy where clarity counts, like manually focusing an image. this situation was fully avoidable, but i forgot to do the whole contacts thing before heading out the door. what i’m trying to get at is that i won’t talk about things that aren’t here and that i didn’t take quick pics of. i’ll need to wait for the film rolls to get developed, whenever that happens.

though there were several moments that i may want to return to later including a cheerfully shingled two-story character, old-timey fonts on signs, and a cheery neighborhood offering of sweet limes.

*it’s the roof shingles for me, i really dig the scale and coloration. on top of that, the symmetry, dormer, and birds of paradise give this a “Bahamian feel,” says Sam.*

*“by appointment only” sign font + camellia blossoms. yes please.*

*sweet limes offered with a fun handwritten advert. love to see it.*

this one was hard.

i’m still looking for ways to exercise agency in creative spaces and what that looks like for me. i’m still trying to get into a groove and establish a rhythm and pattern that is sustainable, encouraging, and flexible. when i sat down to write this morning i wanted to bypass negative ideations and ignore my anxiety, but i think that would have been unfair to the spirit of this and other spaces where i record myself and ideas. my mind can be a clutter and anxiety comes and goes. my work doesn’t happen in a vacuum; and i want to be honest about that. i also want to be kind to myself now so that my future selves have an example, and reminder, of what self-kindness looks like. i am familiar with how anxiety has derailed me, and i’m becoming more familiar with how to be kind to myself and approach my feelings - including difficult, messy, and unpleasant feelings - with curiosity and compassion rather than shame derision.

and sure, this was a departure from what i had originally set out to do, and GIF free at that; but i want to be honest with myself. i started off in a different direction, but the breadcrumbs brought me back to thoughts from the weekend walk with Sam, our discussions about our neighborhood, foggy hair, gentrification and bad architecture, love, and becoming a jedi (you know where to find the more intimate tid-bits).

parlor tricks 1/1/21 parlor tricks 1/1/21

slow in, slow out

the new year arrived, as anticipated; and under current circumstances i feel motivated to memorialize it this time around. 2020 was a ride, and bore the blame for a heap; but not everything was bad. the coming of a new year injects renewal and hope and brings some relief, if only rhetorically. i’m steering clear of urges to produce grand summations or predictions, just excited to see where this one goes and play an outro to one helluva year.

*from top left to bottom right, the numeral iterations got more curvy. there was one iteration past this that i tweaked on the final tracing base.*

still being in GIF zone, i thought it would be fun to capture the change of year with an animation. i imagined it would begin as “2020” revealing “2021” as the last digit swings away to reveal the new year. this felt achievable: low barrier to entry and relatively straightforward in terms of moving parts.

starting with a quick sketch of blocky numerals i realized that using the same thickness for both positive and negative space in the numbers would work well for the reveal from “0” yo “1”. i’m not familiar with typographic vocabulary and terminology likely exists for what i’m trying to describe (*not to self: research typography anatomy, fill in the gaps!).

i worked through some iterations to use as a template to trace over for the animation frames in adobe illustrator making an effort to keep evidence of each design iteration along the way. may have missed a few but i think most are accounted for and it’s helpful, for me, to see where things started and ended up. kept things s-i-m-p-l-e design wise for time’s sake. future me is thankful to have spent less of it in a design iteration rabbit hole and endless tracing for the actual animation frames.

while i hadn’t intend to focus so much on the numeral design, i’m glad to have meandered in that direction.

first tracing template i tried out with crop marks to register frame alignment. i 86’d this template when i realized there wasn’t enough room for the zero to completely swing down within the frame… d’oh.

*the lower frame is the version i used for all of the tracing. it also shows the revised version of the number “2” that i tweaked to have a longer leading “hook”.*

i had imagined using blank paper for this exercise, but all i had access to was ruled 3” x 5” index cards (thank you Sam!). i’m happy with the way things worked out with the ruled cards. i dig the subtle jostle of ruled lines over the animated frames.

when it came to how to animate the swinging “0”, i focused on the animation principle of “slow in, slow out” illustrated in the linked video by youtube creator Alan Becker. “slow in, slow out” is one of twelve principles of animation used to achieve lifelike, dynamic motion. these principles have been described by Disney animators Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnston in the book “The Illusion of Life” .

i’ve come across a few youtube tutorials on animation that describe these principles, and have learned a lot from them. Andy Bailey, a stop-motion animator and flip-book illustrator, has good resources; and The CrafsMan, an all time favorite creator, has several youtube videos on animation too.

after jotting some sketchy notes that look like messy spirograph attempts i moved onto tracing. this part was tedious and a bit monotonous, but fun and enjoyable. I mapped out where i thought the “0” should be to achieve the “slow in, slow out” effect, going back to add in-betweens where the “0” swings back and comes to rest. i scanned the frames, and added more where the animation was choppy.

*sketchy spirograph notes on top. the long tick marks in the bottom frame are radiating at intervals exercising the “slow in, slow out” principle.*

*the starting, stopping, and “1” frames felt too static as just one frame, so i traced multiple to add a little more wiggle to the squiggle.*

in the end there were 23 traced frames that i brought into photoshop, straightened out, squared up, and added a little drop shadow for depth. several were used a couple times either for effect or to achieve the returning swing without re-tracing any frames; a big perk to doing a GIF animation rather than a flip-book. some things i learned on this trip to keep in mind for next time:

numbering the back of the cards was a lifesaver for keeping things in order. could think about ways to differentiate frames used several times in one sequence
complete all edits to each animation layer before adding to timeline in photoshop! this is a biggie. each time i made a substantial edit (mostly adding effects to layers or new frames) it would throw the whole animation timeline out of whack. layer edits would show up during incorrect frames and not for the intended for reasons that make total sense but result in an absolute nuisance. i think that can be avoided and the workflow could benefit a lot from storyboarding and planning out edits
like storyboarding edits, map out where elements are moving in the frame so that space, scale, and placement are accounted for (so the zero can swing out of the flipping way)

i think there will be nuggets of information and “hot-tips” from the making of this animation that will be apparent over time. simple and straightforward, this process was encouraging and i’ll continue experimenting with animation and the different principles. to close, i’ll leave behind the hottest tip: keep doing animations, this was flipping fun.

parlor tricks 12/29/20 parlor tricks 12/29/20

progress in work

*used crayola markers for this. nice to relieve fear of using expensive or unfamiliar tools while keeping room for experimentation.*

i arrived at last night’s desk appointment with every intention to continue working on the inaugural self-addressed online entry in what is my experimentation in documenting process. imagining there must be a simpler statement than that, but i need to continue working to get more familiar with what i need, and want, this space to be. this is for me and i will make it what i need and want it to be. i will make notes as it evolves, takes and changes shape. no rush to define or draw conclusions, this process is the work.

anyway… last night was also when this 10-year-old ride or die desktop announced its contribution to procrastination. it had, in fact, very little remaining storage space and could no longer execute the memory heavy tasks at hand. this is the point i’ve reached with most of my tech: balancing on the knife’s edge of obsolescence.

so, in an ongoing effort to keep the motor running, i faced months-old procrastination on another front and began revising the weather with clouds and sync settings. this unplanned computer snow day provided a getaway to escape the near crippling anxiety brought on by sitting down in front of the computer to do this right now.

but i stuck around and watched Normal People while i waited.

the series creeped completely under my radar earlier this year, and i had been reminded of it recently. four episodes into settling comfortable into my virtual waiting room i realized i’d been hooked. the troller was kind enough to bring me in 12 episodes later and i was able to come back to my desk this morning.

i rarely start a series with the intention of binging. sometimes i’ll watch a few episodes back-to-back, but not so much season-to-season. shorter half hour shows are a little harder to portion, especially when they’re good. this show is good. to prevent disrupting sam, who was working in the other room; i wore headphones. that made a huge difference i think. the sound design was top notch. and, because i watched it all in one go, i picked up on a few repeated elements: connell’s chain, hitched breathing, fringe, and marianne’s uncanny resemblance to anne hathaway and charlotte gainsbourg.

i like how this combo came out with the vector graphic sign board. used photoshop to put the GIFs together with different layers. hot tip: remember that files intended to be used for GIFs can be either 8-bit or 16-bit color, but not 32-bit in order to save/export as GIF.

among other things i also took notice of how often the term “struggle” was used. connell said it several times in the context of self critique, which is likely when i became aware of it. in part due to the frequency of use and also recognizing an internalization of that word. turning inward and thinking about what i struggle with, fear stands out most.

fear of failure stays right up there among the usual suspects. but this moment of fear was overwritten by excitement to make something for myself pure and simple. i wanted to start out making “under construction” type graphics between going “live” and actually writing something. maybe that’s because announcing something is “under construction” or a “work in progress” is a comfortable buffer between thinking and producing. however, it did provide an opportunity to test out some stuff with GIFs while tipping my hat to the OG internet days when i’d made geocities and anglefire websites that started out as a host for some “under construction” GIF. I kinda wanted to re-live the excitement of announcing, “just about, but not yet,” even if it was only to myself.

*little bug model made from toothpicks, some card stock, and scotch tape. super helpful for visualizing tricky shadows.*

the first GIF i tested out, the blinking sandwich board one, was made almost entirely in the computer except for figuring out the shadows. i had a hard time visualizing the shadows in photoshop alone, and i don’t have access to the 3D modeling software i used when i worked in architecture which would have made quicker work of it.

i started out in photoshop creating a silhouette for the sign the way i’d learned in architecture school when making shadows for entourage/scalies/people in renderings to give them dimension. but i was struggling with the sandwich board type legs and couldn’t visualize it when using a silhouette made from an outline of the image itself. sam passed by my desk and i asked him for help, not something i’m so used to doing. i don’t know why, pride maybe? pride probably… we talked about how he would approach it and tried this and that: distortion, perspective, warp, all that. we went around some quick sketches, but i didn’t really see it yet. i remembered we had toothpicks in our kitchen junk drawer and made a bug model which helped a lot.

i am pleased with the GIFs and the process making them. i am really, really happy i asked for help; and that i was patient with myself and sam when i had a hard time seeing things the way he did. this process helped me remember resources are in all shapes and that i’ll need to pick up more short-cuts in illustrator and photoshop in order to get faster at some of the digital stuff.

even with a bit of struggle, things turned out.