common assets, vol. 3
one Youtube video usually leads to another, and a revisit to the lexicography video led to this Vox video about the Cooper Black typeface by Oswald Cooper.
while working on the… title card, i’ll call it, for this entry i thought of these logos. have nostalgic sentimentality for both. the Payless logo identity has since gone in a different direction… and Love’s looks Cooper Black inspired – it’s not as round, but there are similarities (it’s in the “o”).
“Gimme Some More” - Busta Rhymes (1998/Elektra Records) directed by Hype Williams
(sample from Bernard Herrmann’s “Psycho” theme)
really dig Busta Rhymes’ music videos from this era. “Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See” is another favorite, also directed by Hype Williams.
“The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)” - Missy Elliott (1997/The Goldmind) directed by Hype Williams
(sample from Anne Peebles’ “I Can’t Stand the Rain”)
Missy Elliott has some of the best music videos, ever. period.
“beep, beep. who got the keys to the Jeep? vrrrrroooooom!” ;-)
“B.O.B.” - Outkast (2000/LaFace-Arista) directed by Dave Meyers
such. a. good. time !!! 808s, off the wall colors, candy painted Cadillacs – what more could you want?
“You’re Makin’ Me High” - Toni Braxton (1996/La Face) directed by Billie Woodruff
love this music video (*ahem* Bryce Wilson *ahem*). ‘Secrets’ and ‘Space Jam’ were the first two CDs in the collection. was probably too young for Toni, but… whatever!
“Fantasy” - Mariah Carey (1995/Columbia)
the inspiration drawn from Mariah Carey and this music video specifically runs deep.
crossed paths with a De Tomaso Pantera last autumn. didn’t recognize it and assumed it was an Italian sports car – and it is, sort of. i’ve since learned more about it, in large part from watching Jay Leno’s Garage.
watched a few more episodes since and some favorites include the 1966 Oldsmobile 442 (love, love, LOVE the “442” enameled nameplate !!!), 1931 Duesenberg Model J LaGrande Coupe (that interior, and rumble seat !!!), 1972 Citroën SM (super neat engineering !!!), and the 1957 Imperial (super sweet, retro detailing !!!). been liking the “pandemic editions” – they feel more intimate. Leno’s knowledge and familiarity with his fleet is impressive, and i appreciate the narrative style of his explanations. wish the jokes would catch up…
meant to include this in vol. 2 and forgot. another Youtube gem – meditative bonsai art by a creator in the UK. this is from the beginning of the video – thought it looked pretty nice to start, and was stunned by the result. carefully meticulous and fascinating process.
lex·i·con
used “acerbic” the other day without confidently knowing its meaning, which is:
acer•bic \ə-ˈsər-bik, a-\ adj (1865) : acid in temper, mood, or tone < ~ commentary> <an ~ reviewer> — acer•bi•cal•ly \-bi-k(ə-)lē\ adv
still need to consciously re-direct to the desktop dictionary rather than a dictionary on the desktop. the ease and convenience of technology is nearly irresistible, sure; but things stick better for me when using a physical reference. still, many Google sourced definitions have been recorded in sketchbooks that have since been tucked away. pulling some of those notes out to keep here, for visibility sake.
abbreviated and scattershot post-it note definitions – mostly using Google, which references ‘The Oxford American College Dictionary’. used to text Google “define such-and-such” from my flip phone back in the T9 days for vocabulary on the go.
researched dictionary options before buying. this Slate article offers helpful user perspective, and this Youtube video featuring lexicographer Kory Stamper has cool info too. in the end, went with Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. i appreciate their descriptivist philosophy; and it was the kind i had as a kid – that definitely counts for something.
reached for the dictionary again the other day to look up “sardonic”. by that point i’d already started documenting and scanning the sketchbook definitions. wasn’t until a few pages in that i realized i’d already recorded a definition. the previous came from Google – here’s Merriam Webster’s take:
sar•don•ic \sär-ˈdä-nik\ adj [F sardonique, fr. Gk sardonios] (1638) : disdainfully or skeptically humorous : derisively mocking <a ~ comment> syn see SARCASTIC – sar•don•i•cal•y \-ni-k-(-ə)lē\ adv
part of the collection of unfamiliar words – definitions provided by ‘Merriam Webster’s’ this time.
while i’m here, the rest of the “pantograph” definition referenced in the chicken scratch thumbnail is:
pan•to•graph \ˈpan-tə-ˌgraf\ n [F pantographe, fr. pant- + -graphe -graph] (1723) 1 : an instrument for copying something (as a map) on a predetermined scale consisting of four light rigid bars jointed in parallelogram form; also : any of various extensible devices of similar construction (as for use as brackets or gates)…
(P.S. – should there every be a need to charm a lexicographer, remember this)
a car for Killface
‘Frisky Dingo’ - (2006/ 70/30 Productions) created by Adam Reed & Matt Thompson
nothing can replace the Annihilatrix or trusty blue minivan, but this 1980 Chevrolet Camero Z28 has Killface written all over it. i mean, come on…
one trick pony
‘Show Pony’ - Orville Peck (2020/Columbia)
came across this album review while looking for liner notes. stopped to read through – appreciate the perspective.
watched the music video for “No Glory in the West” last year, sometime toward the start of the pandemic lockdowns in the states. i liked it, a lot; and then didn’t listen to it again until earlier this year. this song shakes something up in me and is the reason why i picked up guitar again. far beyond wanting, i needed to play this song. so i learned it; and it’s the one song i know how to play front to back – my parlor trick.
‘Ride ‘Em Cowboy’ - Paul Davis (1974/Bang Records) art direction by Eddie Biscoe, embroidery by Michele, photography by Nick Rietz, packaging by James Flournoy Holmes & David “Worm” Holmes for Wonder Graphics
titular track “Ride ‘Em Cowboy” is a standout – “i started in New Mexico, must have been a thousand years ago…”
with country western on the mind it would serve me well to return to a record vaguely mentioned before – one that needed “proper” photos taken.
hadn’t heard of Paul Davis before coming across his album ‘Ride ‘Em Cowboy’. the packaging alone is a home run. embroidered western wear? yes please! the album jacket feels like a shirt with embossed denim and embroidery textures, and “unbuttons” onto a saloon scene with track listings in cowboy lasso type. pulling out the liner reveals another layer: the undershirt and hankie of the denim wearer. really into the visual narrative of this album, and it was only a buck – wins all around.
notes from the editor
changed my mind on a few things that’ve been reflected on here earlier. namely, a couple mixtapes. they were bloated and the sequencing wasn’t dialed in, moving the needle from relief to retribution. didn’t make sense to keep them that way, not if they’re meant to be listened to. these mixtapes were/are for me – my catharsis – so i made some changes. fewer songs, less judgement, and that 80 minute playtime that seemed so serendipitous? turns out, it’s too much. a dozen or so songs, under an hour – that’s more like it.
on another note: i recently thought to myself, “i should re-read books the way i re-watch movies.”
absolutely. yes. do that.
pulled a few from the shelf to re-visit (and a couple to wrap-up).
‘Bless Me, Ultima’ by Rudolfo Anaya, ‘The Air-Conditioned Nightmare’ by Henry Miller, ‘Normal People’ by Sally Rooney, ‘The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle’ and ‘Kafka on the Shore’ by Haruki Murakami.
making these notes in an effort to maintain accountability in my creative process and to encourage curiosity and a perspective that sees change as not only inevitable, but vital. some of this has been difficult to externalize – want to recognize that – and i’m challenging myself (present, and future) to reserve judgement/shame/guilt when it comes to changing my mind. status report: ongoing.
moving on from working on those two mixtapes. several others have come together since, and the process is continuing to evolve.
excited to revisit stories i’ve read before. i think it’ll provide an opportunity to better identify my preferences in literature the way i’ve been able to with music and movies. couldn’t hurt, right?
glimpsed a pair of owls overhead a few evenings ago – Ultima first.
common assets, vol. 2
‘Capacity’ - Big Thief (2017/Saddle Creek)
still making my way through Jason Mantzoukas’ “What’s in My Bag” recommendations. Adrianne Lenker’s voice is beautiful. (haven’t gotten into her solo stuff yet, just came across it “Googling” her name. her website sure is pretty.) “Shark Smile” and “Objects”. “Mary” and “Black Diamonds”, too. i like those a lot.
‘Lianne La Havas’ - Lianne La Havas (2020/Nonesuch)
“Paper Thin”, “Sour Flower”, “Weird Fishes” (!!!)
Jeremy Jae Neal and Vinson Fraley Jr., photography by Carrie Schneider
‘Dearest Home’ - Kyle Abraham (2017/YBCA)
recently reminded of Kyle Abraham’s ‘Dearest Home’, which a good friend gave the tip off to and we went to see back in 2017. this was my introduction to Kyle Abraham, and – under the circumstances – felt very fortunate. still does.
“Side Effects of Insecure Men” - ‘Small Doses’ with Amanda Seales (2019/Starburns)
came to this after watching Alice Smith performances. was not expecting what this episode has to offer.
‘Punisher’ - Phoebe Bridgers (2020/Dead Oceans) photography by Olof Grind
watched the “Savior Complex” music video months ago, after binging ‘Normal People’ and unapologetically seeking Paul Mescal content… swung back around to the rest of the album, and feel good for it.
‘What’s Your Pleasure?’ - Jessie Ware (2020/PMR/Friends Keep Secrets/Interscope) creative direction by Mat Maitland for Big Active, photography by Carlijn Jacobs, design by Rory Dewar
i think i added this album after seeing it recommended in Pitchfork’s '50 Best Albums of 2020'. so dancey – love it.
‘Land of Nod’ - Nick and the Nod (2020/Chicken Shack Records and Tapes)
introduced to the track “Piece of Pie” a few weeks ago by Pop Goes the Weasel on KALX. “My Career” and “New Content” are cool tracks. they’re all cool tracks.
‘Album’ - Girls (2009/True Panther) cover art by Christopher Owens, photography by Sandy Kim
this may have been another Pop Goes the Weasel introduction – i think it was from a KALX set. maybe? “Hellhole Ratrace” is a doozy.
3/$25
carried the stash from 101 Records. into the colors, big time.
started out real wordy with this one. the long and short of it is this: didn’t want to sleep with my phone in the bedroom, but still needed an alarm clock. easy solution: get an alarm clock.
found a suitable candidate on Craigslist and drove into the city for the meet-up. it was a success; and i tacked on a visit to 101 Records on the condition that there was a reasonable place to park – convenient and often used errand loophole. got a spot right out front, of course, and spent some time digging before realizing i was in a different physical store than i’d been in a couple years back when Ed first introduced me and our dinner party after we moseyed over from a nearby restaurant. that shop was around the corner – it’s closed now.
enjoyed convo with the shopkeep – which is one place i struggled with wordiness before; cause there’s a story in it, i think. anecdotal hang-ups aside, this took me somewhere and i need to leave some crumbs. in favor of the new equipment i’d picked up, i got some CDs. “3/$25” is what the sign on the wall said, and here are the three i chose:
‘In Spite of Ourselves’ - John Prine (1999, Oh Boy) design and art direction by Dana Arnett & Jason Eplawy, photographs courtesy of Elliot Erwitt/Magnum Photos
the photograph is what got me. seeing it was a John Prine album, whose catalog i’d been nervously circling and hadn’t listened to, i knew this would be where i started. “Dear John (I Sent Your Saddle Home)” has been a favorite.
‘Shades of Blue’ - Madlib (2003/Blue Note) cover photo by B+, cover design by Jeff Jank
most familiar with Madlib from his Madvillain collaboration with the late great MF DOOM. experimentations with Blue Note recordings sounded intriguing. really digging the tracks “Slim’s Return” and “Stepping Into Tomorrow”.
‘That’s Where It’s At!’ - John Lee Hooker (1979/Stax Records) art direction by Honeya Thompson, design by Christpher Whorf, photography by Beverly Parker
until recently i hadn’t heard much of John Lee Hooker’s music. the album cover’s bright yellow shout and graphic layout immediately caught my attention. recognized John Lee Hooker and Stax – i’d be in good hands. “Slow and Easy”, that’s where it’s at.
‘That’s Where It’s At’ influenced the latest journal cover, too. been experimenting with and developing typography for another project and felt i was playing it safe – being too precious. figured a journal cover could be a good place to test things out. feel less inhibited designing for this space right now. working toward uninhibited.
looked at similar graphic text design and sign painting. iterated, iterated some more, and asked for feedback from Sam. important to recognize the collaborative parts of the process. asking for and receiving feedback has been another hang-up for me. it’s all a work in progress.
some frequently observed neighborhood inspirations. Cole Coffee and Timeless signs by sign painter Patrick M. Piccolo. outside Cole is where i’ve seen the California Shellfish Co. truck – nice colors, not sure whodunit.
iterating and experimentating.
happy with the color scheme. a little John Lee Hooker, a little Oakland A’s – nice nice.
freebie
prototyping. traced lavender salve tub sized discs of stabilizer backed linen remnants. a triple twist of light-gauge floral wire was sewn down the center of one disk on the stabilizer side in order to hold the future fortune cookie shape. the wire side is then sandwiched onto a second linen disk and attached using blanket stitch. and with a few swift hand moves, the disk turns into a fortune cookie. came across this tutorial when i needed help understanding the folding technique.
picked up heavier gauge wrapped floral wire and covered the ends with floral tape before sewing down to help prevent the wire from poking through the right side of the linen – works pretty nice… this was also my first attempt at using butterfly-clutch pin backs. piercing the pin through the interior to the backside hid the flat fastener, but it needed glue to keep it in place since it lacked any way to mechanically fasten. not fond of relying on glue in this situation.
tried using safety pins too, which had their perks. they were the least expensive option, i already had them, and they did a better job of pinning the width of the cookie than the butterfly-clutch, but they were cumbersome to attach. i’d been wearing a safety pin version on my jacket, and it was tricky to fasten in the right way. mine was too tight, causing the cookie to curl up into a shape more closely resembling tortellini. wasn’t mad at it, per se; but it wasn’t the intended effect…
after exploring a few options for pin backs, i landed on bar pins. they can be sewn in place at several points, provide stability across the pin width, and are much more user friendly.
imagined packaging as a narrative element, too. inspired by takeout fortune cookies and a well known “Thank You” bag motif.
designed several iterations of the cookie size packages. digitized in Illustrator and mocked up on printer paper to test dimensions and volume. used actual pins and wadded up balls of paper to make sure the packets would puff enough to hold the pins. in retrospect, i should have started with the wadded up paper. ripped up good prototypes to get the cookies out. d’oh… !
moved on to vellum for the next series of prototypes. i like using vellum. it’s a little transparent and works in the printer – nice nice. used a pattern tracing wheel to pierce a line about half an inch from the top and bottom edges, and hand sewed closed with red Gütermann poly sew-all thread. fan-creased the ends for a finishing touch.
looked into paper crimping tools and techniques and came across a tube wringer which looked like it’d get the job done and could work on heavier materials, too. the package on the left has tube wringer crimped edges, and the right is by hand. the little tags are two Avery labels stuck together, hole punched, and tied to the end of the enclosure string. i’m happy with how these came out.
digging this process. still not quite done yet – need to give the vellum printing another go. using a laser printer and the toner flakes off more easily than i want it to. don’t think the printer settings are quite right yet. also, need to try sewing the closure stitches on the machine instead of by hand to see how that turns out. maybe it’s too powerful for the vellum and makes a mess of things. or maybe it’s perfect! gotta try it.
been incubating these for a little while now and need to push them out the nest… i’ve set aside a couple prototypes as freebies to give folks that strike up conversation about the pins/patches on my jacket – things i’ve made. i imagined the freebies as an opportunity to help me talk about my work with interested folks. however, it’s still in my imagination since i haven’t yet had the confidence to take the final step and hand one over. or i’ve forgotten to bring them with me, like this morning… double d’oh!
i’m feeling nervous about putting them in someone else’s hands – giving up control – and being at the mercy of public opinion. but i suppose that’s the rub: no risk, no reward. working to remember that opinions are only as important as i allow them to be. constructive critique is one thing; ruthless subjectivity is another. i recognize the importance of putting myself out there and i’m working toward the next step, no matter what other people think of me. it’s a fortune cookie, for Christ’s sake…
*created and drafted March, 2021. posted March 23, 2022.
quilted
taped muslin lining to the floor to keep smooth. whip-stitched two smaller pieces of cotton batting together to make up the length needed.
pin basted the quilt sandwich together and captured how impossible it is to keep black fabric lint-free.
used DMC cotton stranded embroidery floss in ecru, separated into 3 strands, with a Tulip big eye straight thin size Sashiko needle. pulled strands over beeswax before quilting to help prevent fraying and breakage.
quilted in free-hand lines widthwise, starting from the center. i can see how my technique was affected over time as my fingertips became more tender.
kept the muslin lining and cotton batting long at the short edges. trimmed the batting to remove bulk and folded the muslin over to create a binding, blind stitching to the twill to finish. the light table fits snuggly in the cover, so i kept the closure simple using brass sew-on snaps to secure when stowed away.
trimmed excess muslin and batting to meet the long edge of the twill and finished raw sandwich edges with blanket stitch using 3 strands of DMC ecru embroidery floss – no beeswax this time. learned how to cleanly transition threads midway through blanket stitch using this tutorial from Upcycle DesignLab.
finished, “front” and “back”
the quilting turned out alright. started with tight tolerances and knotted off by the skin of my teeth. hadn’t expected as much shirring from the quilting process – my dimensions didn’t account for it. and while blanket stitch was considered as an alternative to more traditional finishing methods – bias tape/quilt binding – it turned out to be just the stitch for a narrow seam allowance.
i’m really happy with this.
bonus: little sachet i made yesterday to hold a gift for a friend whose birthday is today (happy birthday!). pleased with this spur of the moment project.
Sashiko sampler
some Sashiko practice, and other threaded meditations. can’t remember the order i did them in, other than which was first. even then i can’t tell for sure because i sewed the first to the second – so it’s one of those two.
big gratitude to 刺し子 & Sashiko Story and Upcycle Stitches – very helpful resources.
STOP
stop sign sketch – Crayola Super Tips on trace paper.
experiencing some blockage and working to dislodge it – it’s slow work, requires a fair amount of focus. keeping company with Ever Given… couldn’t help myself ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑
i’ve been feeling a way about something that happened in the beginning of February. while working offline, i got wrapped up in thoughts about what other people – complete strangers – might think of this space, should they come across it. i worried what they might think of what i’m doing here, what i’m making, how i’m writing. i worried about being judged. i worried people would think my work was derivative, stupid, a waste of time. i got caught up worrying what other people might think and considered editing the content of earlier posts in hopes of preventing negative opinions of me.
holy sh-t…
STOP.
STOP!
first off, editing the content of old posts is completely antithetical to my conception of this space and especially harmful when influenced by the desire to satisfy others’ perceptions of who i am or should be. changing my mind is ok, that’s progress. changing myself to fit someone’s perception of me is unhealthy, regressive, and untrue to what i’m trying to establish in my practice. it’s disingenuous and inauthentic behavior which doesn’t serve me. i have, in the past, felt it necessary to hide parts of myself – code switching and contorting to satisfy social or cultural expectations. that’s not where it’s at for me. not anymore. so who the hell is making me feel like i need to keep up the contortion? ain’t nobody else here but me! this is personal…
i recognized the pattern as the thoughts were pouring in, back in February. i stopped what i was doing to draw a sloppy stoppy in my journal, and reminded myself of some key revelatory material: changing my mind is ok – good, even. recording a catalogue of process with the emotions that accompany brings visibility to how ideas about work and creativity are influenced and change over time. i want this space to reinforce flexibility and exploration in process, which may mean trying an atypical approach and “feeling a way” about previous iterations. going back through old posts and tinkering with time is NOT a helpful way to document process. heck – re-examining and continuing to reflect on processes, experiences, and context is a big part of this thing!
i won’t deny it – i was disappointed in myself for even hosting those thoughts; but i’m glad i caught it and hadn’t acted on the impulse to change myself in order to satisfy a self-projected standard of acceptance on what is “right” or “good”. i woulda been pretty sour had i taken it that far... these thoughts spun around a specific post, one that is more personal than i’d expected to explore in this space, and i felt discomfort around externalizing emotional vulnerability. although spare for personal details; it has still been difficult for me to process.
there has been a glint of silver lining from this in my work – i’ve been experimenting with stop sign designs and making GIFs. i wanted to abstract it and stretch it out like i had with several other warning signs, which inspired the first GIF. in order to achieve smoother animation i made more frequent in-between frames, which revealed compositions of stretched letters i don’t think i would have seen otherwise. cool beans. the next GIFs were created from fooling around with CMYK halftones in Photoshop. i’ve used halftone in projects before – it’s fun and pretty simple, and i like it… the second GIF uses varied dot sizes and angles for a spinny-zoomy hi-lo resolution effect. the third was goofing around to create a lo-res halftone version of the original GIF. no big deal, simple. and i like it… another step in this exploratory process will be to make some patches. i recently picked up red velveteen fabric to use as a base – it’s fabulous… the velveteen has a nice texture and matte finish, and is much more vibrant than the red cotton fabric i’d picked up prior. not quite sure how i’m going to approach all the steps of this project – i’m unfamiliar with using velvet/velveteen. i’m hopeful fora fun experiment!
not every creative effort needs an analyzed explanation of how it came to be, but in this case it felt important. the stop sign was introduced because i needed it; and, like the recursive loops before were a way for me to imagine processing through design, the stop sign was a visual cue to pump the brakes before careening into unhealthy territory. i felt embarrassed about the misdirection of energy, and yet work came from it. i haven’t felt like i could reflect on it without feeling shame that i’d even considered tinkering in the first place, which allowed this work to stay hidden and more guilt to build around not staying true to the spirit of this space: reflecting on work as it happens. i thought i was past this, but i’m still working through it.
in the months since, i’ve recognized the hard work in gaining, and maintaining, confidence in my authenticity. i also recognize the work in resisting outside influences that i should do or be something i’m not. and should those negative influences call from inside the house – come from me projecting on behalf of some fictional entity – i’ve got to stop. that. sh-t.
i’m still learning. i’m still growing and becoming more comfortable being myself. i’m more confident in what i desire to do and who i desire to be. i’m excited to keep moving in each of the directions i’m going, even if i don’t know exactly where i’m headed or how i’ll get there.
needed to stop for a little bit back there, but i’mma keep it going.
fortunate
disclosure: this household has consumed copious amounts of Chinese take-out – pandemic or not. with two fantastic Chinese restaurants on our block, it’s hard to resist. Chinese food is comforting, and this last year has seen an exponential increase in need for comfort.
dozens of sweet-and-sour chicken, steamed dumpling, Mongolian beef, and veggie orders later we’ve simultaneously increased our fortune cookie consumption. naturally, i’ve collected the fortunes once dispensed from their snappy cookie shells and saved them in a little box on our kitchen counter. a lot of them are corny, on par with Snapple cap facts and Laffy Taffy jokes. others are egregiously ill suited for the medium (identified below), and several deliveries felt fated – truly fortunate.
for months they’ve sat in their little box on the counter, with a few exceptions that have been pinned and pasted around the apartment. can’t continue to keep them to myself, because with great cookie fortunes comes great responsibility.
easier said than done, but well stated.
yippee-ki-yay.
wow, where to begin… this fortune cookie advice column is punching above its weight here. perhaps these topics require more nuance than a narrow strip of paper jammed inside a cookie can handle?
got it. procrastination is double homicide; unless opportunities are curiosity, which cannot be killed.
;-)
wait… what?
well i’ll be damned.
i’ve been sitting on these fortunes for a while, true; but it would be tone-deaf not to address the racism, misogyny, and violence that the Asian-Americna community has faced, especially this last year as fueled by 45’s racist framing of COVID-19.
it has been upsetting to see community elders attacked and in fear of their safety; and the shooting in Atlanta last week where a racist coward targeted Asian women and murdered 8 people is a heartbreaking tragedy. can journalists and news outlets stop humanizing mass murderers? please?
i was nervousy writing about this here, but i know from experience that silence is more harmful. i stand in full support of and as an accomplice to the Asian American and Pacific Islander communities and will lend my voice in any way possible to amplify demands for justice.
this old house
it recently struck me that letting things hang around without considering or reflecting on them leaves an accountability loophole. “there was nothing to remind me so i forgot to investigate/work on/maintain it.” want to avoid that, when possible. thought i’d follow Tuesday’s u-turn with another project hidden away in cold storage before it gets too old: this house portrait embroidery.
i “finished” the embroidery part late last year in November and swiftly moved on to other things. originally conceived as part of a larger quilt project – a collection of house portrait embroideries – i haven’t made progress on and am becoming less tied to as time passes. with no plans for what to do next, i’m going to keep it in its raw state for a little while longer – no rush. but it would be nice to see this embroidery, and any project for that matter, in a somewhat diegetic context. without further ado, here’s an account of things up to this point:
11/07/2020 - shortly after getting started. this is the point where i realized i might want process photos…
11/08/2020 - Gameboy break.
when i started this embroidery i had just left my office job. this project felt like the inaugural step toward investigating my independent creative practice, and what that could look like. this embroidery also allowed me to reconnect with photos i’d taken earlier in the year and the early months of shelter-in-place.
a lot of my recent photos were taken on walks – neighborhood photos, houses mostly. in the early weeks of shelter-in-place walks were almost daily, and taking photos helped me feel connected to the physical character of the neighborhood while being physically isolated. i like to refer to them as “house portraits.” i’ve come across several house portraits that lent themselves to line drawn renderings and, i thought, embroidery. one had bright red and freshly painted concrete steps standing out against a well manicured but otherwise unremarkable façade. it was simple with a pop of color – a good place to start.
i used one, two, and three strands of DMC cotton embroidery floss in black (310) for most of the outlining, DMC red (321) for the feature red stair, and black Gütermann all purpose polyester thread for the shadow hatch and details. used only outlining stitches – most being less-than-well executed back-stitch. more like forth-back-stitch – it’s a bit of a mess…
i’m happy with how the outline embroidery turned out. the stairs were too small to attempt shading them, that came later…
used DMC stranded embroidery floss and Gütermann polyester all purpose thread for the outline embroidery drawing.
11/08/2020 - starting to shade beneath the rake.
11/10/2020 - added a second hoop to study an area in detail.
11/10/2020 - chose two DMC corals for the steps’ vertical face in sunlight.
11/10/2020 - steps shading in sunlight and shadow.
there was a lot of unused fabric beneath the first hoop, so i put another hoop on it. thought i could do a blow-up embroidery of the pathway, steps, and porch. using the light table and an enlarged print of the photo, i traced the stair onto water-soluble stabilizer using a fine-tip permanent marker (which will be important later). started with two coral reds (350 & 351) for the path and sunlit step risers. used a light pinky-peach for the treads, and i cannot remember what i used for the shaded portion of the step. i think it was garnet? i don’t know…
i completely lost track of which browns, beiges, and taupes i used for shading the walls. some were DMC, and others were from a cheapy pack of embroidery floss i ordered from Amazon several years ago. the colors are ok, but none of the skeins had labels or identified the color. it’s a toss-up really…
practiced satin stitch and long-and-short stitch techniques to achieve the shading. it’s a little goofy and there are flaws, but i learned from it.
there were several helpful takeaways that i’ve since been able to apply to my other embroidery projects. the ones i can remember are:
do NOT use permanent marker for design transfer - i realized the consequences of this after washing away the stabilizer from the stair shading and the permanent ink had bled into the lighter thread fibers. that was a bummer – won’t be doing that again. i’ll stick to pencils and Frixon pens in the future.
use stabilizer for stabilizing – don’t do the permanent marker thing on the water-soluble stuff… do use fusible stabilizer to provide structure to lighter fabrics for a crisper, more defined finish.
use the shading hatch to compliment geometry - try stitching the shading lines parallel to the plane of the material the shadow is being cast upon. i was going to try to stick with just written explanation of what i mean by this, but here’s a sketch:
the shading beneath the eaves illustrates this best. i was unsure about shading the outriggers, but this is close to what i was thinking. the hedge shading is tricky too, and i don’t particularly like how i outline embroidered edges that could have been more softly rendered in a hatch. just a thought…
work shaded fills from the farthest area of the image forward – in the case of the stair detail piece, i should have started at the far wall of the porch and door and worked my way forward toward the steps and path. if i were to shade any of the shrubs, i would shade the wall behind them first and then the shrubbery over top to build more realistic depth. make sense?
try different shading stitches - the steps look kind of furry due to the nature of long and narrow stitch shading i tried to use. i’m still learning the technique, so i’m by no means blaming the technique for the muppet-y nature of that portion. seed stitch could be cool to try. or hatch lines like the larger piece. i don’t know, experiment! try different sh-t!
a technique i learned after “finishing” this was how to embroidery without leaving any knots! i’ve used that technique on all embroidery projects since – so much tidier. i learned that and other techniques from Sarah Homfray’s youtube videos – she has so many fantastic tutorials.
there are a few more house portraits i’ve considered embroidering. houses with neat facades or a sweet feature and otherwise straightforward geometry. should there be a next time, i’d probably start off larger and try to execute more detail in one single embroidery rather than splitting it up into two – which wasn’t planned – but i’m happy with the direction it went.
yesterday afternoon i wrapped the quilting portion of another project – one that hadn’t yet been flung from its spinning plate… (alright, beat it with that hateration!)
the process has been going well so far. not that things are perfect – no – but i’m learning, moving somewhere, and getting better at testing ideas and identifying what i like and don’t like in whatever it is i happen to be working on. in this case: leaving expectations at the door and adapting to what unfolds. i’m learning to recognize successes yielded while executing a process, and to relieve pressure created from the notion that success is singular and lies within a very narrow margin.
i went into this most recent project with a much more involved and technical execution in mind. i’d also procrastinated working on it for months… in an effort to be more efficient with my time and allow attention to be paid to other projects – and life – i simplified. in doing so, i saw shared sensibilities with previous projects and drawings. maybe it’s subconscious… still worth a mention.
anyway, i need to photograph it in the state it’s in right now – post-quilting – before moving to the next step, and wanted to leave a dash of what i’m coming away with so far.
keep it going!
u-turn
swinging back around to lay down some graphic experiments from a few months ago while working on color studies. focused on construction paper colors for the physical work and schemed in CMYK digitally. i liked what came from it, but kept it in a digital locker. reminding myself, “that’s not the point…”
relieving pressure from feeling like there needs to be some in depth process run-down. it’s not that deep – i did the work and want to have it for reference later. so, here goes:
fretwork
i think i’ve already mentioned here that i’m getting back into guitar – pretty sure i’ve mentioned it… anyway, set it up nearby and it’s been what i turn to when i feel distracted and need to focus. noodling on the guitar has felt better than picking up my phone to thumb-scroll into a dissociative fugue. comparing those two things is absurd, i know; but i’ve recognized a marked improvement in well-being since trading phone time for guitar time.
spent the last couple months dusting off the few songs i’ve learned over the years, and learning one new song. i wanted to finally learn and play a song all the way through, and i have! 22 years after picking up a guitar for the first time and i’m actually learning how to play it. wow…
i realize that playing one or two songs doesn’t amount to knowing how to play the guitar, so i’m doing some exercises to learn the natural notes of the fretboard. i can poke around and make stuff up, but i have no idea what i’m doing or any of the notes i’m plucking away at. that’s no good. found a couple helpful videos from Music Theory for Guitar and Redlight Blue that encourage getting to know the fretboard and provide some pointers, and that’s just what i’m setting out to do.
although the internet has endless diagrams mapping out the fretboard, i felt i’d get more from the exercises if i started out making my own (this was also in an effort to keep my wheels from spinning into distraction and overthinking elsewhere). made the fretboard diagram in Illustrator and made each GIF in Photoshop. set the GIF frame durations to 1.5 seconds, an approximation to match the 40 bpm i set my metronome app to for practicing. here are each of the notes on the fretboard isolated out from A to G, moving from the sixth to first strings:
like i wrote earlier, i know this is procrastinating from actually doing the exercises. i just thought making my own diagrams would help connect the dots. i think it has, and will. nevertheless, this was a fun diagrammatic exercise and a good distraction. there are plenty of other things tugging at my attention right now, getting in the way of work and thoughts. so annoying…
time to get back to it – lots to do.
ok, bye bye!
softwood
split at the base. it didn’t look deep, but a fella from the tree service said it couldn’t be fixed.
a tree is being removed from our yard today – like right now. there’s a crane outside the window, and a wood chipper in the driveway. men in orange tops and vests are carrying bags of gear, chainsaws, gas cans and gesturing skyward… it’s impossible to ignore.
rainstorms have been blowing through this past week. the first came last Friday during a virtual happy hour with friends. first came rain, then the wind whipped up and i heard a loud *POP*. sounded close, but there weren’t any obvious signs when i peeked outside. the next morning i saw the damage: one of the three trees directly outside our place had a long split shooting up from the base of the trunk.
“sh-t…”
utility lines criss-cross the neighborhood with trees interlaced among them to varying degrees. we worried the crack could put the lines, and our neighbors’ homes, in jeopardy should it cause the tree to fall over. we worried about our house too. well, not our house – the house we live in. it’s someone else’s house and, technically, someone else’s tree. Sam got in touch with the property manager who got in touch with the owner who got in touch with a tree service… i had hoped there would be an intervening solution between disaster and removal, but that didn’t turn out to be the case. and now it’s being removed.
the tree was supposed to come down yesterday morning, but it rained again and had to be postponed, providing an opportunity to observe the daily routine one more time. it was a handsome tree – a Monterey cypress i think. host to a squirrel family and numerous birds that i’ve observed closely over the last year. today, nearly a year to the day since we started our stay-at-home order, things are changing again – uncanny timing. seems it’s because of the time spent closely observing and interacting with our home over the last year that i was even able to notice the split. damned if you do…
this makes me sad. really f--king sad…
the crane hook made frequent appearances as it lowered and lifted from view, usually with huge sections of tree attached…
what remains: soft heartwood stump.
i was taking photos this morning when the tree crew drove up. i introduced myself and met Roberto, Julio, and “the new guy”. several more crew members and a crane operator arrived shortly after, but i’d already gone inside to hunker down with my feelings. from my east facing window i could see Julio, the climber, gearing up. he pull-started his chainsaw and clipped it to a carabiner on his harness before being hoisted into the canopy – the chainsaw and extra lengths of rope dangling from his waist like a charm bracelet. over the next couple hours branches, needles, and cones fell to the ground; and whole sections of tree were lowered to awaiting hands and the chipper’s maw.
Roberto let me know when they were wrapping up and described what had been done – dead branches were trimmed and a tree closer to the front of the house was cleaned up too. he showed me the state of the remaining stump and it was clear that the crack indicated a larger problem. the wood at the center was soft – so soft i could pull pieces up with little effort. the tree wasn’t well, and removing it was in the best interest of what had been developed around it; but i’m still sad to see it go.
i hope the squirrels find a new tree to nest in and the birds come back. i hope the remaining trees – what’s left standing of them – are healthy and don’t need to come down anytime soon. *knock on wood* (too soon?)
i could read into this and telegraph out some metaphorical meaning, but i just want to be sad right now.
interference
started with a vector illustration created from a photograph. sent it through the GIF-itizer and this is where it landed.
this last week has been a whirlwind (read with enthusiastic “wh” sounds) and also ushers in the fourth month of my self-established sabbatical. i pivoted some of my attention back to the website i have for presenting “professional” work, which has been more or less neglected – for years. i’ve been wanting to dive back into that work, and now feels like the right time. Tuesday afternoon was productive – i got several ideas out of my head and down onto paper, road-mapped layouts, did a few tests, and identified a strategy for achieving what i want. frankly, a good portion of the work so far has been fiddling with website templates, making tweaks, and letting go of the design i worked on several years ago when i was just getting myself out onto the job market. this time, it’s a little different – i’m feeling much more agency over my work and how it’s represented.
that being said, i realize how diving back into the other side of my online presence has taken some time away from here. doesn’t mean i haven’t been making and reflecting on other projects going on. got a few things out of the embroidery hoop and nearly wrapped. started a new “tri-fold” – a strategy for organizing projects and to-do’s without completely overwhelming myself. in fact, those tri-folds have been much more effective for me than any agenda i’ve tried out (couldn’t have been more serious when i said i’m not a planner…). these next few weeks, and months, will be a lot of work – and that’s exciting! i look forward to it, and the challenges i may face as i continue showing up, authentically. showing up here, and in my “professional” work, and everywhere else i can take space and time to be myself.
something i haven’t yet reflected on here is a personal project i came to a point of closure on at the end of February. it brought up a lot and was difficult to get through, but the process helped me externalize uncomfortable feelings that i had been holding on to. while making the “DO NOT ENTER” illustration, i kicked around a few songs that allowed me contextualize and reflect on what was coming up. i don’t want to leave the energy i came into this project with here in this space; but, i do want to leave evidence of the process-ing involved.
the project – another mixtape – isn’t so dissimilar from “expect trouble…” – they overlap. what’s unresolved between them has been complicated, messy, and confusing… confusing. but not confusing in the same way as “expect trouble…”. this was born from another pain – very much related, but different still. i’m being cagey reflecting on this – this sh-t was tough. (there are plenty of reflections in the offline journal should a refresher be necessary). what it came down to, for me, was recognizing difficulty processing my feelings from “expect trouble…” without acknowledging other pieces of the puzzle around it.
the process for the cover design started with an illustration from a photo taken earlier on during our stay-at-home order. used Illustrator to draw a vector version of the road sign from the image and thought that was the end of the effort and just an extension of warning sign work. it was during that time i recognized feelings spring up that were interfering with what i was doing – getting in my way and preventing me from gaining traction on other fronts.
i wanted to visually represent the interference i was experiencing and brought the “DO NOT ENTER” illustration into Photoshop to experiment with making it into a GIF. i wanted to make it look like it was being pulled apart, as though something was causing a bad connection – “i can’t hear you! you’re breaking up!” that was the feeling i was getting trying to work among unprocessed feelings – some i’ve avoided mostly out of fear. fear of discomfort, and sadness. fear of re-visiting past mistakes and staying there.
i used a couple of youtube tutorials to help me create the GIF from creators Made by Mighty and Photoshop Tutorials | photoshop effects. the effect was pretty easily achieved, and i appreciated having the tutorials as a guide. i used to feel like a cheat using tutorials. like the only way to learn was the hard way. gross. at least that’s the way i felt about using tutorials at some point in time. i haven’t felt that way in a long time, which is good because i use tutorials a lot. like, a lot a lot. it’s curiosity and intentions to realize a concept or idea – i.e. my lack of knowledge on making this idea into a GIF – that lead me to them; and i will gladly engage with guided content from experts in whatever field i happen to land within the perimeter of. like David Bull’s channel a few months back. Bob Ross, move over! but truly, the ability to recognize what you don’t know and seek the information to learn is an asset, not a handicap. traveling down those curiosity streams has taken me places i didn’t even know existed. glad i changed my mind.
leftmost is original illustration, and the following are the frames used throughout the GIF. interestingly, when i change the canvas size, the center blend mode area changes. kinda neat. also, kinda f--king annoying. should figure out why that happens… used layers similar to the last two for the mixtape cover. side note: the blend modes didn’t save out with the GIF either…
i compiled music over the course of working on the illustration and GIF, and a mixtape started to gel – consistency is key for making, and breaking, habits. it seemed a likely pair to use the warning sign illustration as a cover; and, because this sign had text, the mixtape name came as a sign-ing bonus. i’ll show myself out… anyway! the starting point drawing was ok, but flat; so i picked a couple layers from the GIF that had interesting distortion – one with a red shifted blur, the other blue – and brought those layers into a separate Photoshop file to experiment with transparency blend modes. several options didn’t do much, but a couple stood out: a monochromatic red result using “saturation” blend mode and a more vibrant version using “color” blend mode. i like both, and if this process maneuvered around a different memorial narrative, i may have used it.
i liked the distortion of the text in the monochromatic design, too. the lack of clarity resonated with how i felt around the set of circumstances i was revisiting. there are no requirements that these mixtape covers illustrate the musical mood, but i saw an opportunity for this to move in that direction and went with it. i think it fits. and, in a way, serves as a cautionary reminder of the effects of distorted resolution.
monochrome red effect achieved by layering the red shifted layer over the blue with “overlay” blend mode. grouped the two layers and applied “saturation” blend mode to the group.
similar to the monochromatic version, but layered the blue shifted over the red and applied “color” blend mode to the group. i like this one a lot, but it felt too playful for this project.
the work experimenting with layers and blend modes was done over a black background layer. i liked the digital distortion produced in the sign images – how the glitch effect distorted the legibility of the sign – and tried applying distortion and texture to the background digitally, but wasn’t able to achieve what i was looking for. i don’t really know that i had a solid idea of what exactly i was looking for; but i could tell photoshop filters weren’t leading me there. instead, i scanned a texture used in several physical iterations of “warning signs”: construction paper. (ring any bells?). i liked how the flecks and irregularities in the paper’s surface added an organic distortion i wasn’t yet able to recreate using digitally. coupled with the foreground, these designs remind me of spray painted stencils on asphalt. that would be fun to do… the rear cover/song list was created in Illustrator using the Highway Gothic font in a similar red to the original “DO NOT ENTER” sign. brought the vector file into Photoshop and applied saturation blend mode to match the effect of the cover design.
DO NOT ENTER playlist cover – digital illustration & vector graphics
with 17 songs the mixtape came in at exactly 80 minutes.
the past has a funny way of showing up. sometimes, it never leaves and i carry the baggage around with me. i’ve gotten more efficient about it over time – packing it down into smaller containers to make it more manageable. or so i thought. this mixtape and “expect trouble…” have served as emotional containers of sorts – for things i’m resolving and don’t need to be packed away anymore. i’m not sure whether i’ll revisit “DO NOT ENTER” in the same way i would other mixtapes; not that “expect trouble…” is a walk in the park for me either. however, i will admit, the last five or so songs on here serve a mood that i am absolutely here for.
while i can’t say that this process was entirely fun, it was certainly helpful. a couple-few takeaways from the process for the future:
K.I.S.S. – keep it short(er) – 80 minutes or less: the time limit on common 700mb CD-Rs. i know there are 120 minute varieties out there, but i needed to draw the line somewhere. 80 minutes felt like a good length and accommodates about sixteen 5-minute-long tracks. should there ever be a reason to have a longer playtime i might consider 120 minutes. might.
mixtape covers can be digital art – or anything else for that matter. i had originally envisioned making physical collage covers and changed my mind when i was fussing around in Photoshop. changing one’s mind can be a good thing.
keep written reflections on songs – this was an important part of my process for the last two mixtapes – helped me better understand my relationship to the music and narrative sequence.
use what you got if it’s given – if the reference image or collage piece has text that can be used as design and title, go for it. two birds…
this recent stretch of time has been instrumental in figuring some sh-t out. i’m feeling more and more myself. more confident to actively engage in difficult and uncomfortable topics rather than passively allowing things outside of my control to affect my life. spending this sabbatical time the way i have been, here and in projects, has been an important part of the process so far. it’s still work, no doubt, but i feel like i’m getting somewhere that i wasn’t able to before – moving through and to the other side of things that i’ve ignored or left unresolved. and in the absence of interference i’m able to find some clarity.
P.S. …
final covers for DO NOT ENTER. set blend mode for the vector text to “color” to better compliment the cover. and that’s that on that.
gave this mixtape another listen as i was coming back through this entry for an edit yesterday evening (more for clarity than content, but let’s not bring the editor into this); and again, on a drive earlier this morning. the past two trips resonated differently than before. i switched out the cover this morning, before my drive; bearing in mind a recent personal revelation:
it’s ok to change your mind.
after the first full listen-through yesterday, i knew. the drive this morning was my due diligence: the road test; and, an opportunity to validate the tone struck the night before. as i was beginning this process and processing – moving through this song list and holding space for what came – i remember how much discomfort i was encountering. the red alarm of the monochromatic design was what i most emotionally aligned with. DO NOT ENTER – this might sting. and, until yesterday, i had yet to make it from start to finish without teasing up something that made me squirm — literally, figuratively, take your pick – and i’d ultimately switch to another album that provided more buoyancy (“… a Seduction”, in most cases).
these last two listens were different. the sign is still there, warning of discomfort and, perhaps, pain and sadness. that’s where things started. over time, and with work, i’m making my way through it. now, i’m starting to see there’s something just beyond; and it’s so much more vibrant.
“you’ve got the spirit…”
‘Streethawk: a Seduction’ - Destroyer (2001/Misra) design/layout by Rob Carmichael
been meditating through this over the last week. woof. digging it. each time i finish a song on this album i’m convinced it’s the best there is until the next song kicks off and replaces the one before.
sat at the desk yesterday to leave breadcrumbs for a photoshop process i’d learned during another project — one i’d started toward the beginning of the pandemic lockdown. back when having a passion project was a fun distraction from what was supposed to be a few weeks of staying at home. psych!
felt i could handle music while i worked since it was pretty easy stuff. chose Destroyer's ‘Streethawk: a Seduction’ as my dance partner and have yet to be disappointed with that decision. it sends me every time. f--k, this is good.
tossed me into a mood to revisit a couple albums that have been absent from the rotation for a little while:
'Primal Dap' - Secret Sidewalk (2019/Primal Dap Sound) photography by K2 WCF_Lords Krew, layout by Justin Boo
‘tamer animals’ - Other Lives (2011/TBD) art direction by Jesse Tabish and Jonathon Mooney, cover artwork “Casey and Bri. Oklahoma Summer Night” by Benjamin Lee Sperry, design by Ellen Wakayama
Secret Sidewalk’s ‘Primal Dap’ accompanied my desk clean this morning. top notch. and ‘tamer animals’ was a pleasant reunion Other Lives and their country western twang and moody stylings. pretty good. pretty… pretty… pretty good.
also trying to listen to more new music — or, to be more specific, music i haven’t yet listened to. a lot of the albums i’ve got lined up are decades old, but completely new to me. when i start a new album i need to listen to it several times — rooter to tooter — to get a sense of things and identify why i do, or don’t, like something. it can be tough to commit to, but i appreciate what that practice can yield. now that i have more availability to dig in i feel like i’m slowly chipping away at that goal.
‘Hejira’ - Joni Mitchell (1976/ Elektra/Asylum) art direction by Glen Christensen, design by Joni Mitchell, photography by Joel Bernstein, Norman Seeff, and Keith Williamson
Joni Mitchell’s ‘Hejira’ is the current endeavor. i’ve listened once so far, still trying to recover so that i can get back on. admittedly, i sorta slept through the first seven songs. then ‘Blue Motel Room’ pulled up a chair… and ‘Refuge of the Roads’ invited herself in and scuffed up my insides. this is why i can’t have nice things… ‘sgood. i’m nervously excited to start it up again, but in no rush.
this past Saturday i dropped by Dave’s to browse through records. didn’t find what i was looking for (Destroyer’s ‘…Seduction’), but picked up a few albums i thought would be interesting — one fantastic cover — and a few freebies that should be good. Dave and i were chatting and landed on streaming services. i mentioned being a ‘tweener going from cassettes to CDs to mp3s and now streaming. i used to really f--k with CDs. at that comment Dave turned to a box behind him, pulled out a short-stack of jewel cases, and set them on the counter. “would you listen to these? you can take ‘em if you want ‘em.” a collector never turns down a freebie and now i’ve got 11 new CDs to listen to, and one to consider. i don’t know about you Robin Thicke…
in the stack of CDs from Dave’s there’s Sade, Herbie Hancock, Gil Scott-Heron, Donna Summer! these’ll be fun to go through
‘Bonnie Raitt’ - Bonnie Raitt (1971/Warner Bros.)
‘The Band’ - The Band (1969/Capitol) design by Bob Cato
‘You Gotta Walk It Like You Talk It (Or You’ll Lose That Beat)’ - Donald Fagen, Walter Becker, Denny Dias (1978/Visa) art direction and design by Joseph Hosey and Murray Brenman, cover concept by Murray Brenman, photography by Joseph Hosey
the records i picked up were not what i’d come looking for, but also not absolutely random choices.
i really enjoy Bonnie Raitt’s hits like ‘I Can’t Make You Love Me’ and ‘Silver Lining’, but i’m not familiar with her origin story. excited to take that one for a spin. The Band is another that i’m not at all familiar with; but i really like ‘Up On Cripple Creek’. and as a late-onset Steely Dan fan, i couldn’t pass up this intriguing collaborative effort by Steely founders Donald Fagen and Walter Becker.
there’s one other that i got in this bunch — the one with the fantastic cover — but i want to take proper photos of it. i also want to get this entry off my desk, so i’m trying to move at a quick-ish pace that doesn’t quite allow for an impromptu album cover photoshoot. and trust, it deserves it.
there are notes scattered about in my journal (the other one) on the music i’ve been listening to. i’ve found it helpful to jot down thoughts while i listen, and this space can help capture the ephemeral participants in the creative process.
this page was on the stoop when i went out to water this morning. it had been stuck in the lavender and turns out Sam brought it up last night.
went out this morning to water the yard: garden patch, lavender, clover, the grassy hill. it was colder than i expected and my hands felt numb after several minutes holding the dripping spray nozzle. when i came back up the steps i saw a piece of paper with typing on it — looked like a loose sheet from a book. the sheet was tucked beneath a glass container on our stoop, which i thought was strange, but as it turns out Sam had put it there after picking it out of the garden patch yesterday.
just wanted to leave it here — a token from the morning.
anyway! long story short, i needed to feather the selection border in order to mask out hair in Photoshop. make the selection — marquee tool, polygonal lasso, pick your poison — feather the boundary starting at around 5 pixels and make a mask. ba-da-bing i’m sure i’ll realize it’s more complicated than that and fill in the gaps later…
turning my attention now to some bits that i’m having a lot of feelings around ahead of getting into: fear, discomfort, anxiety. i’m reserving judgement and holding space and curiosity for my feelings. this is a door that i opened, and resolution that i’ve sought out. i am confident that i can stick to the conviction and authenticity of my intent.
it’ll be ok. i will be ok.
“…don’t lose the feeling”